Jan 31, 2009

Why I "Youtube"

Ever since coming to youtube in December 2007, my life hasn't quite been the same! 

Right before I joined to post my own material, I had no idea what youtube was.  I knew it was a site you could go to and see funny home movies and clips of real tv shows and that was about it! 

I had relatives/friends post a couple videos on it of me before I joined, mostly runway footage and clips of plays I was in.  I still didn't understand.  They posted this how? People comment? Huh? As I started to make sense of it, I figured why not post my own work? I have been a performer and professional a long time.  But what would it mean to create something that could potentially be seen by thousands of people worldwide as opposed to hundreds of local people of whatever city I may be doing a play? 

Sketch comedy seemed like the way to go.  I've always been a goofball, since I was a little girl.  Just ask my family and close friends.  I remember acting out SNL skits for my high school drama class.  But as my career developed, I was almost always cast in dramas! I'm always crying my eyes out over something, dealing with a life or death situation (as characters).  People would be surprised to see my comedic side (and now those who know me from youtube would be surprised to know about my dramatic side).  

Let's face it, it takes a lot to hold my attention and I'm sure most people out there surfing the web are the same way.  Videos have to be funny, fun, short and highly entertaining.  People ask me if I knew I would do well on youtube.  Actually, I thought I would.  I knew there would in fact be people out there who would get it and who would enjoy it.  My parents might just be prouder than anyone.  After watching their only daughter grow up in funny costumes, doing funny voices and dances...they're glad I'm showing that side to the world.  

What I never knew, was that youtube is a community of fellow artists, creative minds, entertainers and friends.  Over time you seem to get to know everyone.  It takes awhile.  But it happens.  

I had no clue how to make myself known on the site at first.  I thought, well, better introduce myself! In the first couple of months I put in a lot of time leaving various comments and messages to anyone and everyone.  As I discovered who was already 'known' I would visit many of their pages, leaving comments for them, their viewers, etc.  Only much later did I find out this is called 'spamming' and not welcome in the community.  

To this day, when I get spam I really don't care.  I understand someone trying to be friendly and not knowing how to start.  Same with myspace.  I had to start somewhere with building an internet presence.  Actually it was all for the best or many people might not have ever come across my videos.  Everyone can make up their own mind to subscribe or ignore, I'm much more willing to give someone a chance than not.  The internet is a strange place and we're all trying our best to spread the word about what we do.  Today, I'll still send out a handful of friend requests here and there.  It's not pushy, it's a friend request.  And someone will choose to come your way, or not.  So that's what I'd suggest to those wanting to meet people on youtube.  

So why youtube? I figured it would be a way to create how I wanted, whenever I wanted.  Not too often in acting do you get the chance to be the boss! To do it all your way.  From writing to costumes to editing to casting.  I absolutely love that.  I also figured the more people were aware of me, the more opportunity it could lead to.  And it has more than I ever could have imagined.  It's definitely been one of the best decisions I ever could have made.  

There are people, of course, who will hate for whatever reason.  To hate just to hate, to hate because they're intimidated, to hate because they're threatened by you, to hate because they don't like what you do, to hate because they don't want competition, to hate because they want to bring someone down who is happy and doing what they love.  But fortunately I have the strongest core.  I don't live a life of negativity and pessimism.  I know who I am and what I want and live a very grounded 'real' life.  I don't let the crazy makers in.  Now of course there have been times where I've given a "f**k you" right back, but more often than not I just roll my eyes and block them.  Remember this, usually a hater is like 12 years old.  And if they're older? Well, what a sad life they lead! I see the world differently than a lot of people.  I don't have spare time to waste on pettiness.  You never know how long you'll be on this earth.  How long your loved ones will be.  What with my dad being sick, I know how fleeting everything is.  I don't believe in cruelty.  Everyone is someone's loved one.  Would you want you or your loved ones to be treated that way?! 

I firmly believe in karma.  I have seen firsthand the power of karma.  I choose to be happy and positive and follow my own path.  *Side note, I totally should have been born as a hippie.  I'm sooo in the wrong decade.  Blog on that in the future!* 

Meeting such supportive and wonderful people online has meant just as much to me as the outside jobs it's brought me.  The kindness of strangers has been truly remarkable.  It makes me want to be the best me I can.  

What I never set out to do (or even thought about) was to be any kind of a role model.  Or an inspiration.  But that's something that happened regardless.  I'm so moved when someone tells me I have inspired them to start making videos, or acting, or modeling, or pursuing their dream of any kind.  Isn't that what humanity is all about?  I believe we're each others teachers.  Whatever we have to offer to the world and to each other, we should.  

Anyway...this brings me to the latest little project, the Netflix Greatest Kiss contest.  I am so moved by the kind comments on my videos and on the site itself! OMG! The last two days I see so many of my friends and viewers saying the sweetest most supportive things and I just want to say thank you so much! You guys mean the world to me! This is something that I honestly wouldn't have thought to enter, had I not been approached.  I didn't know how to make these kissing videos, because I didn't feel it was "me".  But it turned out to be great, since I wanted to come up with the most creative ways to do this without being obvious.  I know constantly asking everyone for help with a contest doesn't always seem so attractive, either.  But just bear with me a few more days! Your support is truly overwhelming!!!!!!!! 

I'm so happy with my online life, but I know I have a long way to go! There are thousands of people that have yet to meet "BeanerLaRue".  

I plan to continue on my path of "The Deena Show: woman of 1,000 faces" my goal being to be a master of disguise and as versatile as humanly possible! 

So tell me.  Why do you youtube?  
What do you / did you hope to get out of it? 
How is it better / worse than you thought?  
xoxo  Deena 

And why the hell not shamelessly plug once more? 
Visit youtube.com/Netflixgreatestkiss 
and rate/comment/make a vid response for my
"My Girl - BeanerLaRue" video :)

Jan 28, 2009

"Domestic Bliss" Photo Shoot

A couple months ago I was asked to model for an amazing photographer, Vanessa Cheney.  Find her Cheney Photography group via facebook and see her work! I'll post more as I get them! 


Jan 25, 2009

Nostalgia part I

(Click on pictures above for larger view!)
Every once in awhile...I find myself consumed with nostalgia.  Perhaps consumed is to strong a word.  More like a wave washes over me and stays there for a few hours, maybe a day.  It can be about many things.  I may be young, but sometimes I feel like I've lived a zillion lifetimes.  Sometimes I miss NYC.  Sometimes I think fondly of high school.  I smile to myself remembering days of community theatre and how simple everything was while I was longing for the real thing! I looked through old pictures tonight and decided to scan a few from my senior year of high school! I'm gonna post old pics from time to time to give you a glimpse into my "past lives"! The pics are (from top going down) from a play, going to a banquet, another play, a prom, and on my way to go on a date to the ballet.  


Jan 22, 2009

Well f**k

(Above pic from Jared Golds Caspian Runway Event Dec. 07 want me to explain the red hair? I'd just played a role where I was blonde.  I was slowly back on the way to black for another role...and I thought this would be a fun way to stand out in the fashion show.  Yup.  I'm the kind of girl who will dye her hair for a one night event.  My hair has been every cut/color known to man but my agency likes me best when I stay consistently black, as they often send me out on the latina auditions.  So there's all you've ever wanted to know about my hair history.  Believe it or not, people often ask me about it!)

You know what really sucks my balls? 
Last weekend I (god, even as I write this I want to kick myself in the ass) was supposed to do a modeling gig.  A two night Ed Hardy fashion show. In Park City.  For Sundance. In a huge ass mansion.  With lots of people I should have met for networking purposes.  

And I -gulp- turned it down! Ahhhh! What the mother f**K?! It came at the worst time.  I had a couple other contracts and auditions at the same time and I didn't think I could make it to the friday one on time and the deal was you had to be available both nights.  

I hate when everything hits at once! I hate hate hate missing out on opportunities.  And today I read all about it and saw some photos in some local press and I felt totally bummed, man.  But I guess many options are better than no options.  Still.  I've said it before and I've said it again.  I need more hours in the day! *Cries*  

I'm off to a dinner celebration for a couple birthdays in the family.  I'll go drown my sorrows in a bit of wine.

PS FOLLOW ME, bitches! http://www.twitter.com/deenamarie

xo Deena Marie

Jan 21, 2009

Two features!

(found on facebook and myspace) 
and site ISTARDOM.COM for featuring my photos and videos! 
I'm so flattered!

Jan 20, 2009

Ouch! They took my blood!

I hate the doctor! I have such a fear of needles! 

I've had it since I was little.  I was sick for awhile when I was around 7 and 8 and had to go to doctors all the time and have all sorts of mumbo jumbo done and this gave me a debilitating fear of needles! I haven't had too many reasons for shots or getting blood taken as I got older, so anytime it did happen, I would get hysterical.  

Like can't breathe full on bawling.  It was bad.  

But guess what! I had to get some blood taken twice in the last couple of months and...dare I say it? I think I'm getting past it! It didn't hurt...I survived it.  I didn't cry! I totally held in my tears and stayed calm and it wasn't so bad.  I know this sounds so silly, but it really was a big deal for me.  I mean, if my dad can go through doctors and needles all the time, I know I can do it every now and then.  If he can be brave and tough about it, I will be too.  

I don't think I'll be rushing to donate blood anytime soon...but conquering this fear is something I thought I could never do.  

Shows once again, you can do absolutely anything you set your mind to.  No matter what it is.

Deena Marie xoxo

Jan 19, 2009

Netflix Kissing Contest (part I)

Allright my babies...
at last I was given the go ahead to start uploading my videos.
I just uploaded 2 of 4

My plan was to be a versatile as possible and progress the vids.
I really wanted them to be outside the box.

Some you'll see just me playing all characters, some use of props only,
and you'll see in part 2, standard, classy, captivating kissing scenes! 

So please, POST YOUR VIDEO RESPONSE! (However you'd like to do it is great!)
RATE! COMMENT! Share them, they'll need a lot of views in a short amount of time!

Enter the contest yourself! youtube.com/Netflixgreatestkiss

VIDEO #1: the "Cruel Intentions" kiss
VIDEO #2: the "Titanic" kiss

now playing on my page at http://www.youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

so please, get over there and get to it!
weeee! kissy kissy!


Jan 18, 2009

Dinosaurs & Inspiration

Because I geeked over "Walking with the Dinosaurs" so much, today I took my parents! 

Turns out my aunt and uncle and two cousins were sitting right next to us! 

This was my dads birthday present.  I knew my parents would love it.  I really wanted us to see it together, since one of the reasons why I love it, is because it takes me back to being a kid.  I have gone to the Museum of Natural History for as long as I can remember with them.  The dinosaur room never looses it's magic.  I have pictures of me sitting in a giant footprint from the time I am around 5 up until just last year. He he.  

My dad is not in the best of health, but was feeling pretty good today, thank goodness, since that means he could relax and enjoy getting out and doing something fun.  Everyone loved it, just as I knew they would.  We bought T shirts after and discussed it all the way home.  It raises so many questions.  I want to know everything.  Already, I want to see it again! 

So.  What gets you thinking, what inspires you? What are you interested in that maybe nobody would expect you to be? Are you inspired / moved by people? Events? Art? 

For me, besides the science I've already talked about, the big ones are words and theatre.  As in great poetry/books, and plays.  Films too.  Especially sweeping, tragic love stories.  Tell me yours!

xoxo Deena 

Jan 17, 2009

M. Night Shyamalan

Do you love him? Do you hate him? 

It's one or the other right? I mean, you don't hear his name or see a film of his and just go "meh".  Whether it's a hit or miss, there's still nobody else like him.  I'm pretty sure I'd do just about anything to be in one of his films.  

I've seen "Signs" a zillion times.  It happened to be on TV today and I watched the second half.  This got me in a Shyamalan frenzy so we had to watch "Unbreakable".  That one I hadn't seen since it came out, and didn't remember so well.  I liked it, because I'm into the superhero / supervillain thing...but I didn't love it.  There's something about the cinematography that doesn't do it for me.  It slows things down too much and makes it boring in some parts.  And then all the strange shots for about the first 20 minutes didn't go with the rest of the movie.  It seemed like he hadn't quite found his style yet, so I was surprised to learn that one came after "The Sixth Sense".  Apparently it was supposed to be shot "comic book style" but I didn't get that from it, either.  My loved one, on the other hand, loved the way it was shot.  Most guys I know dig the movie because of the father / son relationship.  

Anyway.  I'm a huge fan.  Love "Signs".  Love "The Village".  Now that's a role I would have absolutely loved loved loved to have had.  Thinking about Bryce's performance gives me chills.  Saw "The Happening".  Loved everything but the end.  Plants?! I'm a fan of Zoey and Mark and the suicide scenes were so scary, that I'll just let that one slide.  

Who isn't a fan of "The Sixth Sense"? The last time I watched it, I had forgotten how sad it was.  Just beautiful.  "Lady in the Water" I actually have not seen.  Can you believe it? With how much I love M. Night and Bryce? But I will! 

I also think he's just about the only director / writer who can make a cameo in a film and pull it off.  He does it well, and it doesn't take me out of the film.  

So, what's your opinion? Are you a fan? Which ones do you like? Which don't you like? 

Thanks everyone for getting excited about this Netflix Kiss Video contest! I'll have more updates in the next couple of days & I plan to do a lot more blog.tv to help with promotion this week, too.  VIEWS, RATINGS and VIDEO RESPONSES seem like the most important thing.  So thank you in advance! 

Going to take my parents to "Walking with the Dinosaurs" again tomorrow...
how big of a nerd does that make me on a scale from 1 - 10?! 

xoxo Deena 

Jan 16, 2009

Announcement! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Finally! I can reveal the project I've been working on! 

So. Awhile ago I was contacted to make some videos and be a part of a contest.  
It's the Netflix Greatest Kiss Contest.  

The idea is to make a few videos all reenacting famous kissing scenes from well known movies (what with Valentines day coming up and all)! This required me to get as creative as I possibly could.  I've planned for 4 videos (this may change) and since the date this was all going to kick off was changed, almost all of my footage has been shot and edited for awhile, each one is as versatile as possible.  Expect the unexpected! 

The movies I chose? Cruel Intentions, Titanic, Jerry McGuire and Gone with the Wind.  I'll be uploading my first in the series late tonight.  The goal (since this is a contest) is to get my video enteries A.) Viewed as much as humanly possible, and B.) Get as many video responses as humanly possible.  So what's the prize? Three videos are picked and those creators sent to NYC where they'll reenact the scene for a panel of judges.  The final winner wins an all expense paid trip to Las Vegas.  I will be posting a lot of material in a very short amount of time.  

The site where you can see this is http://www.youtube.com/user/Netflixgreatestkiss So here's where I need YOUR help, fellow youtuber / internet junkies! Help me with views! When each goes up if you can help spread the word, post your video response (doesn't have to be anything fancy, whatever you can do is wonderful)! Share this info and link with anyone you think will be willing to help! 

Why should you do this? This is a great way to get yourself seen as well, since a lot of people in this industry will be checking out the site, videos and responses! 

I also want to give you incentive to help me, too.  For the person who can help me the most, as far as spreading the word, getting a large number of people involved with the views/responses, you'll get a 'prize' (more on that later) from me, when all is said and done, and promotion! Cool? So head over to the site, keep checking back from now until february 10th and let's do this, yo! 

PS VOTING may also be invloved...so keep an eye out and be sure to vote for me! :)

xoxo Deena Marie Manzanares

Jan 15, 2009

I love dinosaurs!

It's true.  Is it because I'm a 12 year old boy trapped in a chicks body? If I wasn't a performer I'd be a paleontologist.  And taking a paleo course is on my list of things to do.  No, I'm serious.  I've been trying for the last couple years to do so, but every time it rolls around, I'm busy! Argh! So for now, the best dino - fix I can get is to go see "Walking With the Dinosaurs".  Tonight.  And yes, I am very excited.  I think I might cry. 

Tomorrow I can finally announce / talk about this project that I've been working on.  The one that requires all of your help! It's a fun one.  Can't wait to 'come out' with it already! Ok, gotta run.  My raptors await...


Deena Marie 

Jan 14, 2009

Such an Aries March 27

(Pic by toddcollins.net for the "Sirens of the Stage" book photo shoot.  Book can be purchased at blurb.com) I've never been into astrology.  I think it's interesting, but I don't know much about it.  I couldn't tell you what each sign means, If you told me your birthday I wouldn't know by the month what sign you are.  But from time to time I do like reading about mine and my loved ones signs.  The other day some friends and I were talking about astrology, so I looked it up on wikipedia and once again, I am reminded and surprised at how accurate it is.  I am such an aries.  Here it is according to astrological signs on wiki.  

Aries / The ram / cardinal, fire, personal / Keyword "I am"
The aries person is assertive, brave, energetic, kind, action - oriented, intelligent, individualistic, independent, impulsive, full of strength, competitive, eager, straightforward, forceful, headstrong, pioneering, a leader, focused on the present and freedom loving.  They can also sometimes be intemperate, violent, impatient, fiery, rash, extreme and arrogant.  Suitable occupations are where initiative and enterprise are needed and preferably physical activity; such as entrepreneurs, businessmen, soldiers, sportspeople and explorers.  In medical astrology, aries governs the head and skull.  In astrology, aries is ruled by the planet mars.  The sun sign dates for aries are march 21 - april 19.  The fire form of aries is a wildfire, an uncontrolled fire.  Therefore commonly known as the most dangerous of the 12 signs.  

Ok, so a lot of that rings true.  My mother in law happens to know quite a bit on this subject and had given my loved one a few astrology books including one with tons of info on the very day you were born.  This is when it got really creepy! Well, cool, actually.  It made me wish I would have had the book sooner, would have saved me a lot of trouble wasting my time dating the wrong people! I could have looked up their date & known right then they were trouble! Ha! Anyway... here are some tidbits from my birthday, March 27.  

March 27 : The day of the originator
Strongly individualistic.  Like children, they are quick to learn, but once having learned pursue their own vision.  In doing so, the acquire an unmistakeable style, and an often overpowering technique built on what they have developed with others during their formative years.  Exceptional people born on this day are originators, often the first to accomplish something in their field, but even those with more modest talents tend to make a contribution that is uniquely their own.  * Actually, they are not "people" people at all - it is their work, often of a technical nature, which absorbs them.  * March 27 people have an excellent feeling for social trend.  As artists, business people and laborers, they are able to sense what will work with the public and what will not.  This is due less to any special knowledge of human psychology than a purely intuitive understanding of society, it's values and wishes.  * Often they are baffled by human emotions, but because of their objectivity can be helpful in diagnosing problems.  Although not outwardly emotional, March 27 people are passionate and is this intensity which makes their work strong.  They can arouse emotion in others through the directness of their approach.  What appeals to them is the purity of line and the strength of strong contrasts.  Like children, it is the black or white of a situation that will dictate their reactions - they hate compromise and grey areas; lying (or hiding the truth) is foreign to them.  Their honesty extends to themselves as well; they are therefore realistic in assessing their own abilities.  Those born on this day may be difficult to live with, as they are often preoccupied with areas apart from personal  human feeling.  Also, since March 27 people are not easy on themselves they are not so easy on their family and companions, either.  Although they make good friends, they are not ego builders, and are much too uncompromising and frank to have time for flattery.  Nonetheless, those born on this day do impart a certain quiet support and warmth to those closest to them.  * Those born on the 27th of the month are ruled by the number 9.  Thus those ruled by #9 often lead others, and set styles and trends.  They can also be impulsive and overly strong - willed (symbolized by Martian energy) and since March 27 people already have some of these characteristics (Mars also rules aries) they should be aware of their effect on others.  * The 9th card of the Major Arcana is The Hermit, who walks carrying a lantern and a stick; he represents meditation, isolation and silence.  The card signifies crystallized wisdom and ultimate discipline.  The Hermit is a taskmaster who uses conscience to keep others on their path.  The positive side of this card is stick-to-it-iveness, purpose, profundity and concentration; negative meanings include dogmatism, intolerance, mistrust and discouragement.  * People on March 27 tend to be accident prone.  *  Advice: Cultivate diplomacy and learn to be more tolerant.  Forget technique once in a while and let it all hang out.  Be kind and understanding.  Learn to compromise when absolutely necessary.  You are not as strong and indestructible as you think you are. 

Strengths: Self-reliant, realistic, technically proficient.  
Weaknesses: Forgetfull, self-neglectful, difficult to live with

* * * * * * * * * * 
Pretty crazy stuff!  Going to get ready to go for a big jog, it's sunny outside and when the sun is out I can hardly stand being inside.  Tonight I'm going out to a club to see a friends band.  I'm excited to get out since I've spent the last two nights inside being cozy, catching up on tv.  Sometimes I really need that, to relax and not do anything.  But I can't do it for too long or I go nuts! Ants in my pants! 

Deena Marie Manzanares 

Jan 13, 2009

I'm NOT anorexic!

<--- gimmie a break... 
clearly i do not look like this!
Let's talk about the comments/messages that I get far too frequently asking me if I have an eating disorder, telling me they hope I don't die yes, die from my 'eating disorder'...and my favorite and the most common "eat some food, or eat a sandwich" and other variations.  You get the idea.  This stuff is also said to (usually about rather than to my face) me in real life.  

Ok.  I'm not gonna pull an obnoxious whoa is me and say I wish I wasn't skinny.  I like being thin.  I like my body the way it is.  I don't think it's perfect.  Just like everyone else there are days I feel I look great, days I feel far from it.  We all have things we'd like to change.  But we should all love and accept what we are and treat our bodies well.  Now, with that said. 

I. Have. A. Fast. Metabolism.  Get over it! I eat like any regular person.  Sometimes I have healthy food, sometimes I don't.  I love carbs, I eat more carbs than not.  I have a weakness for chocolate & if I want some, I eat it.  It's not a big deal.  One day I want pizza, the next maybe salad...and everything in between. I am normal. I am healthy. 

This is me and this is what I look like. 

What bothers me about these comments, is it's so ignorant.  People can't be naturally skinny?! Give me a break.  The topics of Eating disorders/body image is so sensitive.  I have seen it firsthand and know how damaging it can be to those who suffer from it.  It's a disease! It's a mental illness!  To peg me with that when that's not the case when I have young female viewers (and anyone else) reading my comments, is really really irresponsible...and that's why I am so adamant on this topic.  I don't look unhealthy.  I don't look like I'm suffering from malnutrition.  There are people who do (and it's extremely serious and dangerous) and  let's be real, of course I'm not, good lord. 

I don't change much. I had a performance where I sang at a jazz club at christmas time and the dress I wore that night was one I last wore when I was 17 years old.  I am small.  I do wear a size 0.  That's ok! It's natural for me (not unnatural for me).  It's just how my body and metabolism are.  Maybe as I get older it will change, I don't know.  

Because I am small, every bit of weight shows up a lot, or not.  Last year at this time I had a surgery and  naturally lost a bit of weight while knocked out on my medicine for 4 days.  It was probably only 3 or 4 pounds but that was a lot on my frame and holy jesus, were the comments/assumptions coming at me! 

There's nothing more annoying, uneducated or potentially damaging as "eat some food".  You're making assumptions without knowing or asking any of the facts.  No matter what a woman, or person, looks like...what makes you think it's ok to randomly comment on their body or appearance? It's rude, it's stupid and it's none of your business.  

I'm perfectly happy the way I am.  Like I said, we all should be.  This is the only physical body we have to take us through life.  There is a lot I want to do in this world & if I was starving to death I wouldn't have the energy to do it.  

Deena Marie Manzanares 

Jan 11, 2009

I'm a vampire!

I'll bite you! Just got home from a long but fun photo shoot! Vampire theme! I'll have the real pics in a few weeks, but for now, here is a sneak peek.  I took my laptop & got a couple shots & footage! Gotta start watching "Golden Globes" now, read over a contract for a project, eat dinner, etc.  "Rock of Love" Parody is up now on http://www.youtube.com/BeanerLaRue so get over there and watch it if you haven't yet! Byeeeeee!

xoxo ME

Jan 10, 2009


For the last, oh, I don't know...five years or so, various people in various situations have said "You know who you look like? Angelina Jolie!"  It happens.  A lot.  Before people started saying that, she wasn't on my radar too much.  I mean, of course I knew who she was (I'm not even gonna play the "I don't read tabloids/watch entertainment shows" game) but I wasn't really a fan.  But as I heard it more, I checked her out more, read about her, watched her movies, and you know what? She is pretty fucking rad! Over time she's become one of my favorite actresses and I guess you could say now I totally love her.  So for new years eve this year, for shits and giggles, I copied her look from the "Benjamin Button" Premiere.  No, I don't run around attempting to look like her every day.  That'd be lame.  But I did for a night, and well, there you go.  She seems so together these days, doesn't she (I'm not gonna lie, even in the vile of blood Billy Bob days she was hella cool)? She has a kick ass hollywood career and she's a mom of, what six? She has a relationship that seems so loving and solid and she spends so much of her own time and money helping others.  She's cool, man.  I like to tease my loved one that we're SLC's "Brangelina".  A girl can dream can't she? ;) Looking forward to watching the Golden Globes tomorrow! I'll be watching it late, I'll have to tivo since I have a late photo shoot.  Please, for the love of god I hope she wins over Anne Hathaway.  I hope anyone wins over Anne Hathaway, actually.  Will you be watching? Who will you be rooting for? 

Tonight I'll be filming, then going to dinner, then going to "Body Worlds".  Wish me luck.  I have a feeling I might cry, pass out & throw up all at the same time!


Deena Marie 

Jan 8, 2009

My Beloved

I like to keep my private life private.  Certain topics are just off limits, unless maybe you know me in "real life".  I like protecting those nearest and dearest to my heart.  I'll perform, I'll entertain, I'll give you "Beaner LaRue".  But that doesn't mean my peeps have asked to be dragged into all of that.  

I have great confidence, a tough skin and when someone says something mean to me online I can shrug it off (or sarcastically respond). It's one thing to harass me...but if you go for my loved ones? Watch the mother fuck out! 

Therefore, you probably don't know.  You don't know that my sweetheart is so incredible it's like a fairy tale.  It really is the situation you dream of from the time you're a little girl and wonder what The One will be like who comes along to sweep you off your feet.  I'm not saying that just to say it...and I have dated my share of douche bags, believe me.  

But my love now...I can't get enough.  Never have either of us have ever truly known what it's like to be in love.  In real, honest to god love.  Or to feel this loved.  Feel honest to god loved.  Every. Day.  I cannot believe I met him, found him, have him and how amazingly lucky I am.  We are a perfect balance.  We are best friends.  We are confidants.  We are so proud and supportive of each other at all times.  We don't fight.  We both realize life is too short to waste any time not loving each other.  We could spend all day every day together and it's still not enough.  I've never enjoyed someone's company more.  I have never known a more beautiful person inside and out.  We can't say "I love you" enough.  We each believe the other is the most gorgeous thing that's ever walked the earth.  He is my most precious thing in the whole world.  Real love is about how being together enhances every aspect of your life.  It's hard to imagine life before we knew each other.  So although he remains somewhat anonymous to you...it is important that you know he's there and how I feel.  And that good men, great men, do exist!

Weekend is approaching! What are your plans? I'll be working on this video project, getting more "Rock of Love" Parody filmed.  A photo shoot on sunday.  Monday morning I'll be announcing what this project is I've been working nonstop on - I'm going to be asking for all your help! And I'll also be going live on http://www.blogtv.com/people/deenamarie time TBA, but definitely before "The Bachelor"!  

Deena Marie Manzanares

Jan 7, 2009

I'm a machine!

(Picture by www.toddcollins.net he's great, please check out his work!) 
I really do think I am one of the hardest working people I know.  Well.  Depending on what I am working on.  If it's something creative, something I love, then I'm invested 150%.  I eat, sleep and breathe it.  I seriously worked from the second I got up yesterday to 2 am and was right back at it this morning.  It's kind of a time warp when a project gets you so wrapped up.  I'll look at the clock and two hours have passed when I thought it was 15 minutes.  The downside is that I can't sleep when I'm in the midst of a project.  My mind won't shut off thinking about it, how to do it, how to do it better, etc.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  I'm impatient.  Big time.  And I can probably be a little pushy to others during this kind of process, because I don't understand why it's not life or death to everyone else.  I don't understand when people don't do what they say they're going to do when they said they're going to do it.  I don't like not having my questions answered and the details provided right at that second.  It's my work.  It's important to me.  Do you understand that? Does it matter this much to you? I can get very frustrated. My love and I were talking about my stress levels last night...he said while he may stress over things like work, money, the usual...that I stress times ten over "what to eat for dinner" and "if imovie won't open".  This made me laugh my ass off, but it's true.  So like I said in my first blog here...a new years resolution for me is to live in the moment and try not to stress myself crazy.  But what do you do when you want everyone you work with and everyone around you to work this hard at this level at all times?! What stresses you out? What do you do to relax? Maybe I'm just a masochist and I enjoy the stress.  That's highly probable. 

Anyway...I'll be able to announce what I'm working on come monday.  I've had to put my "Rock of Love" parody on hold for the last two days.  Hopefully I'll be able to film a bit tomorrow! And by the way? I think I love blogging! 

Goodnight! Zzzzzz

Deena Marie Manzanares

Jan 6, 2009

Weee TV

<----- Pic from April 2008 Jared Gold's Czarina Runway event.  Photo by Mike Martinez.

Hiyeeee! Waking up.  Checking sites.  Drinking coffee.  Making a list of all the things I need to buy from the craft store today.  I have SO much to film today it's not even funny.  I started on a "Rock of Love" Parody for Youtube yesterday & that's proving to be a larger task than I thought.  And who knows if I'll even get to work on that today.  I am participating in a project that will require me to bust out multiple videos in a very short amount of time on a certain topic and when I do...I'll be able to reveal more details because I'll definitely need your help! Seriously! And the help of everyone you've ever known! So keep that in mind.  Off to get my ass in gear now. 

One more thing.  I love when January rolls around because the best shows start up again! Last night "The Bachelor" & new show "True Beauty".  Tonight "Nip Tuck", later this month "Lost",  and just about everything VH1 has to offer me. What are your favorite shows? What do you just have to tivo? 


Deena Marie Manzanares