Jun 26, 2009

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson passed away yesterday.

I was sitting on my couch with my laptop and saw it on twitter pretty much right when the word was out. I saw Perez Hiltons twitter first, saying he'd gone into cardiac arrest. I spent the next hour or two looking online, where TMZ was first to break the news. Twitter was crazy with everyone reporting what they'd heard, learning the news, etc. Then I started seeing that reports went from "not looking good" to he had passed.

I felt so weird.

So weird. It was surreal. A few hours later I started reading various tweets and status updates where people didn't care, made jokes, said to "get priorities straight and forget the celeb and think of Iran", to stop pretending like you care when you weren't truly a fan.

First of all, whether you loved him or hated him, it's really gross to make a joke of death. The posts telling us to forget him and think of Iran? Way to soon. It had only been a matter of hours. It's not like a week's gone by and since you weren't a fan you're sick of the media coverage. Let his fans fucking grieve and deal with this! And the stop pretending like you care? Would people seriously mention it and feel sad over it if they didn't care?

It seems, of course, people are very divided. That not everyone out there realized that he still has a huge fanbase! I'm not going to play the pretentious game today that his celebrity pales to what really matters in the world and Iran. Somebody who influenced me since I was little is gone. This is a huge impact to me and many people I know.

Family members of mine in their 40's are mourning because they feel he was the icon of their generation, and strangely enough, I feel the same way. He was timeless. I remember first hearing him in my late elementary, early jr. high years, when my dad let me borrow a CD (that I never gave back & still have in my collection.)

In high school, every weekend my group of friends would go disco roller skating and they played plenty of old school MJ. We knew every song, we bought his videos (still have them on VHS), we tried to learn his dance moves...I had both female and male friends that were fantastic at it (Amber, McGarren) and I can't tell you how many times they'd take off skates, get out in the middle of the rink and wow everyone. I remember one of my aunts giving a pair of MJ autographed shoes to my high school best friend, Amber who was his greatest fan. She had an MJ doll and wanted to get an MJ tattoo when we were old enough. :)

I associate his music and his videos so much with high school.

I also remember being 15 years old and kissing a cute blonde boy I had a huge crush on at a dance to "Earth Song". When you're so young, discovering...everything is brand new and exciting.

I still list "Earth Song" as one of my favorite songs of all time.

As I got older and became a professional performer, I borrowed from him as I learned to really appreciate how fucking talented he was. I can't tell you how many times I've watched "Bad", "Beat It" and "Thriller" to steal a move here or there. Yes, I can do the thriller dance. Yes, I did a homage performance to him last August for Voodoo Darlings Burlesque to "Bad" (see above picture).

I can type this right now, today and honestly tell you I am a fan. I love his music, I own it all. I love love love his dancing. Nobody moves like him. He invented something new and different and beyond entertaining.

I learned a lot yesterday. There are so many opinions out there and that's great. I think that's extremely beautiful and interesting. We all take something a very different way. On the same token, let's be kind and respectful to each other with this. It's all hit us a different way. We may not understand why it has effected someone particularly hard. We may not understand what memories or personal experiences are associated to this person and this passing. I read a quote the other day that I think very much comes into play right now...

"Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".

I hope Michael is remembered for his talent.
He inspired us performers and impacted us very, very much. RIP.

xo Deena

Jun 20, 2009

fiestamovement - mission #2 - technology!

The moment you've all been waiting for will soon be here.

Ford Fiesta Mission #2 for Technology month, "The Sky's the Limit: pick items from skymall.com to use and review"!

Today I did just that. It's filmed and being edited as we speak.
Have you been wondering what I chose?
Want to see some on set sneak peek pictures?
Here you go!


Video will be up soon! In the meantime,
check out my agent profile at

And my latest videos at http://www.youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

xo Deena Marie

Jun 10, 2009


Guess what? 
Two of my ten items from SkyMall came today. Yup.  I said ten. 
Ten pressies for video making!
Thank you, fiestamovement! How can I ever thank you? 
Can you come over? 
I'll bake you cookies! Only...I don't bake.  So...I'll give you a beer? 

What a fun mission this "Technology" month will be.  I have a fabulous idea for the video once everything is here.  
All ideas / items will stay secret until the vid is up.  

In the meantime...just get excited!

weeeeeeee! AND check out the latest video on my YT channel: youtube.com/BeanerLaRue
it's pretty freaking amazing if I do say so myself!


xo DM 

Jun 9, 2009

Fierce Bitches

Pic of the Jack & Coke Lady with the fabulous "IN" Magazine Staff!
Kettle One Kelly (Kelly Ashkettle) Appletini Amy (Amy Spencer) 
and Rum Ryan (Ryan Michael Painter)

It's official.  I.  Love.  Pride.  Can every weekend be Pride weekend? What a great vibe.  Everyone is happy and friendly and excited to be there...you can feel it in the air.  You can't not have a good time.  

I played the Jack & Coke Lady for two hours while my cameraman, "Murray", filmed.  I also realized how much I love improving with the public.  I want to do much more of that.  I gave advice, held competitions for who could chug in one take, met new friends, shopped & so much more.  IN mag staff was amazing.  They were all re-named in the typical J&C fashion and were so brilliant on camera & while playing along.  Love them.  

Get over to youtube.com/BeanerLaRue where the first of a two part video is now playing.  Pretty epic footage if I do say so myself.  After editing and uploading I really don't go back to watch my videos, but this one I've watched a handful of times.  Cracks me up every time. 

The night before was the 2 hour Voodoo Box (band) / Voodoo Darlings Show.  What a rush.  Did my 'nerd' number again and then got to go go dance on stage the rest of the night.  Huge stage outdoors, giant crowd,  gorgeous pictures up on my facebook!

xo DM

Jun 6, 2009

Nerd Alert

Pic from last night pre performance

Last night kicked off Pride weekend.  Voodoo Darlings performed at the Hilton downtown for a big fundraiser.  So.  Much.  Fun.  Despite a knee injury that required me to stay off of it nearly up until showtime, adrenaline kicked in and I had a blast! One of my favorite shows, for sure.  I wanted to mix things up, put on a show.  So I gave them a little storyline, a little humor.  Started off (to like a virgin) as a total nerd embarrassed to perform and chickening out at the beginning and by the end loving it w/hair down, glasses off, etc.  I made the most tips of the night! Weeee! Get to do it again tonight on a big outdoor stage following comedienne Paula Poundstone.  Can't wait. 

xo me 

Jun 2, 2009


Another "Infantry Monologues" pic... according to my Facebook friends, it's very Angelina in "Tomb Raider".  Bless you, friends. :)

I've never been to the Pride festival.  

Can you believe that? What's wrong with me? It's coming up this weekend.  Voodoo Darlings are performing friday and saturday night.  I have yet to coreograph my routine.  Haven't had a chance! I was asked to do my "Like a virgin" number again, but that was one routine I wasn't in love with...so I'm gonna do something brand new with it.  

Saturday is the parade itself and if I can get my ass up early that morning, I'll be marching with "IN" magazines float, and later hanging at their booth interacting and filming as, oh yes, the Jack & Coke Lady.

I'm feeling better today, as in I'm not going to spend the whole day in bed so I gotta get my shit together.  Lots to do, little time.  Remember when I thought after May was over it would be a lazy summer? Ha ha.  That was cute.  Gotta work out, pick my SkyMall items for Ford, maybe film a new video...Jan is just dying for video #4...byeeee!

xo me 

Jun 1, 2009

June 1...catching up

"Infantry Monologues" is closed.  

We had a very successful run, especially for a new theatre company.  To say I learned a lot along the way would be an understatement.  I've said before, I want all acting experiences.  So far, I've been very lucky in getting to do all the things I've wanted to do.  A one woman show is one of them.  This monologue ran just under 40 minutes.  40 freaking minutes of just me out there.  What a workout! It's like running a marathon!

A few things happened along the way of the rehearsal process and performances that made for bad energy and difficulty for me.  I learned a long time ago to "wipe your feet at the door".  This means you leave the drama outside, you do your job, and when you're done in the theatre you can go back to your life.  I have always done and always will do this...and this show solidified it times ten.  As hard as it was to be strong and focused I know now more than ever it doesn't matter what is happening, I get the fucking job done.  I can have a bad day, be upset, have cried all day, have just read an uneducated review, but it doesn't fucking matter.  

I'll be damned if anyone or anything dares to take away even an ounce of honor in my job.  

I put my blood sweat and tears into my work.  I fall off the face of the earth.  So you know what? It doesn't matter if someone doesn't like a moment or a choice, the next person will.  It doesn't matter if someone compares me to a past performance of mine, that's not healthy.  That was then, this is now and enjoy it or not but don't tell me to keep living up to or recreating something else.  That's not reality.  Don't compare my acting self to my youtube self.  Those are two completely separate entities of me.  Those two women don't even know each other.  I have been and will be an actress first and foremost.  It's all I dreamed of since high school.  I was the little girl who couldn't get outta town  and get to NYC fast enough.  I ate, slept and breathed acting...especially theatre.  Youtube videos only came into my life a year ago.  Trust me, all actors know critique and harsh judgment comes with the territory, but it doesn't get any easier.  Why would it? We're just people doing a job like anyone else.  As you grow up and only get better maybe that's why it's harder...you know your shit better than anyone who's not in the biz judging you. 

What matters is that I love what I'm doing.  That I relish it.  That I remind myself every single time how lucky I am to be doing a show.  That other people would kill to be in my shoes.  That I believe in myself and what I can offer 110%.  That hearing my piece (of the three) was someones favorite, or made them cry, or moved them, or that they came a second time...that audience response isn't wrong.  I feel damn strong and proud of my work out there.  I had a fantastic closing performance yesterday, what a great way to end the whole experience.  I know I kicked ass out there.  I also hope it's not the last time I do a one woman show.  Only next time, I want it to be my own.  Something I write and direct and act in and play original characters.  

Right before I started rehearsals, I wondered if I needed an acting hiatus.  I wondered if I was in a phases where I was burning out, needing to find my passion for the stage again, thinking maybe I'd decline roles for a year or so.  Guess what.  I just rekindled my passion and then some.  

I could not feel more satisfied with my performance in the run of the show. :)

I started getting sick during the night last night.  I got no sleep at all and today I feel like I've been run over by a truck.  I think everything I've done the last month has caught up to me and I really need some time to sleep and recharge and say goodbye to the show.  As soon as I do, I've got my stack of scripts right next to me to start reading and preparing for.  

I'm a lucky girl.  

xo Deena