Feb 14, 2011


Happy valentines day! Today and tomorrow are days off from the show. Sundays are our two show days and they kill me. By the time we're done I'm pretty much delirious. Until our big Valentine date tonight, I'm spending today in my pajamas, watching tv and possibly napping.

Last week we watched "127 Hours". I loved it, I can't stop thinking about it. I had images from it all through my head that night and first thing when I woke up. What amazing camera angles. What clever use of music and silence. I have always bee fascinated by "one person shows". Like "Castaway"...even "1408". What an actors dream. I also realized how (maybe more so with the one person performance) we like to live vicariously through others. I mean, I know we all do, to some extent. But it hit me more simply and clearly watching "127" that this is the very reason why we go to movies and to the theatre. It's especially felt in a one person performance. They are designed to do just that.

Is that why I act? To live vicariously through characters? To experience, be and do a zillion things I'd never get to?

I feel my reason(s) for why I perform are in transition. I used to answer that it was because I loved to play pretend, dress up. I felt the most beautiful onstage. It's where all is right in the world. It's where I am most connected to my emotions. An escape? Maybe. I was never sure.

Maybe right now it's simpler. To get to do what I'd never do otherwise. Hmmm. A lot to ponder.

The ancient greek word for actor ὑποκριτής (hypokrites), means literally "one who interprets".

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I feel the winds of change. The beginning of the year has started off with a bang. With a lot to do. A lot to go through. This show has been huge in every sense of the word. In two weeks it will be done. After living this for two months straight, it will be a shock and a heartbreak to end it. Always.

I keep getting hit with waves of excitement. I feel something big coming this spring. I feel something could happen at any moment. I keep getting butterflies in my stomach that not only take me by surprise, but reassure me.

Some of this is the idea of potential plans, but some of it is the unknown. A great unknown I feel just about to reach out and grab me.

I've never felt like I was on the threshold of so many changes and different directions my life could go. And yet it's not scary, each one is okay with me.

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First things first, my birthday is next month. I don't usually do anything big. I go back and forth between the should I have a party or shouldn't I have a party. Always resulting in the latter. Yesterday morning my sweetheart suggested we go to Vegas. Whoah, really? YES! Not only will that be a birthday to (for once) remember, but a mini vacation is long overdue for us.

I truly don't know what I'd do without my sweetheart. My true partner. We're attached at the hip. My favorite person. My perfect one.


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