"This is a pie that you dream of...the dream pie, this pie of childhood. We all dream of this pie. I dream of this pie...only in my dream it is rice".
This is a line from my current play that I speak. Substitute pie for anything precious from your childhood. When I'm saying this, I'm picturing Melissa. I had two bunnies, Melissa and Gina. Melissa was my first and I always loved her more (don't tell Gina). She went everywhere with me. See?
One night she had to go to be dry cleaned. I was without her for the night. I can remember that night clearly. Longest night of my life. I didn't know how I'd survive it without her. Now she lives in my parents storage, with Gina and from time to time I think of the day I'll get her back.
She is the ultimate toy of my childhood. The one I had, the one that was my favorite, the one I remember most. But there was also the one that got away.
Have you seen "The Santa Claus"? I don't know if I saw it in the theatre, or tv, but what I remember most about it is the mom getting the toy at the end (a game, I think). She never got it when she was little but she never forgot.
When I was little somehow I ended up with a book called "Noelle of the Nutcracker" by Pamela Jane.
I don't know what grade I was in, but I still loved dolls. Wait a minute. I STILL love dolls. I still collect them, want them, ask for them.
I don't even remember all that much about the book...but it's about a little girl and her dream doll. Every Christmas brought the anticipation of a new doll. Every year I had my dream doll. To a little girl it's the longest wait and the most important thing that will happen all year.
The doll in this book, Noelle, was a dream doll. A big doll. A beautiful ballerina with dark hair and a pink dress. I used to draw her, dream of her, pretend I was the little girl in this book.
I'll never forget the day I saw her in real life.
I don't know if she was modeled after the doll in this book, if she came before the book, or if it was all a coincidence, but I saw her. Only once.
Right after I saw her? She was discontinued.
I was heartbroken. She was a Madame Alexander doll. I remember writing a letter (years later) to the company asking about her and telling them how badly I needed to find her.
She's always been in the back of my mind. Sometimes a few years go by without thinking of her, then something sparks the search once again.
The last few years it's been online. Lots of Ebay. I have gotten so close! But the hair color or the dress will be wrong, and while I've almost bought her because I think it's the closest I'll get, it's not her.
Today was different. She was there.
In just a matter of days, I'll have her!
2011 just keeps getting better!