Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson passed away yesterday.

I was sitting on my couch with my laptop and saw it on twitter pretty much right when the word was out. I saw Perez Hiltons twitter first, saying he'd gone into cardiac arrest. I spent the next hour or two looking online, where TMZ was first to break the news. Twitter was crazy with everyone reporting what they'd heard, learning the news, etc. Then I started seeing that reports went from "not looking good" to he had passed.

I felt so weird.

So weird. It was surreal. A few hours later I started reading various tweets and status updates where people didn't care, made jokes, said to "get priorities straight and forget the celeb and think of Iran", to stop pretending like you care when you weren't truly a fan.

First of all, whether you loved him or hated him, it's really gross to make a joke of death. The posts telling us to forget him and think of Iran? Way to soon. It had only been a matter of hours. It's not like a week's gone by and since you weren't a fan you're sick of the media coverage. Let his fans fucking grieve and deal with this! And the stop pretending like you care? Would people seriously mention it and feel sad over it if they didn't care?

It seems, of course, people are very divided. That not everyone out there realized that he still has a huge fanbase! I'm not going to play the pretentious game today that his celebrity pales to what really matters in the world and Iran. Somebody who influenced me since I was little is gone. This is a huge impact to me and many people I know.

Family members of mine in their 40's are mourning because they feel he was the icon of their generation, and strangely enough, I feel the same way. He was timeless. I remember first hearing him in my late elementary, early jr. high years, when my dad let me borrow a CD (that I never gave back & still have in my collection.)

In high school, every weekend my group of friends would go disco roller skating and they played plenty of old school MJ. We knew every song, we bought his videos (still have them on VHS), we tried to learn his dance moves...I had both female and male friends that were fantastic at it (Amber, McGarren) and I can't tell you how many times they'd take off skates, get out in the middle of the rink and wow everyone. I remember one of my aunts giving a pair of MJ autographed shoes to my high school best friend, Amber who was his greatest fan. She had an MJ doll and wanted to get an MJ tattoo when we were old enough. :)

I associate his music and his videos so much with high school.

I also remember being 15 years old and kissing a cute blonde boy I had a huge crush on at a dance to "Earth Song". When you're so young, discovering...everything is brand new and exciting.

I still list "Earth Song" as one of my favorite songs of all time.

As I got older and became a professional performer, I borrowed from him as I learned to really appreciate how fucking talented he was. I can't tell you how many times I've watched "Bad", "Beat It" and "Thriller" to steal a move here or there. Yes, I can do the thriller dance. Yes, I did a homage performance to him last August for Voodoo Darlings Burlesque to "Bad" (see above picture).

I can type this right now, today and honestly tell you I am a fan. I love his music, I own it all. I love love love his dancing. Nobody moves like him. He invented something new and different and beyond entertaining.

I learned a lot yesterday. There are so many opinions out there and that's great. I think that's extremely beautiful and interesting. We all take something a very different way. On the same token, let's be kind and respectful to each other with this. It's all hit us a different way. We may not understand why it has effected someone particularly hard. We may not understand what memories or personal experiences are associated to this person and this passing. I read a quote the other day that I think very much comes into play right now...

"Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".

I hope Michael is remembered for his talent.

He inspired us performers and impacted us very, very much. RIP.

xo Deena

fiestamovement - mission #2 - technology!

The moment you've all been waiting for will soon be here.

Ford Fiesta Mission #2 for Technology month, "The Sky's the Limit: pick items from skymall.com to use and review"!

Today I did just that. It's filmed and being edited as we speak.

Have you been wondering what I chose?

Want to see some on set sneak peek pictures?

Here you go!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beanerlarue/sets/72157620029782332/

Video will be up soon! In the meantime,

check out my agent profile at

http://www.fiestamovement.com/agent32

And my latest videos at http://www.youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

xo Deena Marie

Pressies!

Guess what? 

Two of my ten items from SkyMall came today. Yup.  I said ten. 

Ten pressies for video making!

Thank you, fiestamovement! How can I ever thank you? 

Can you come over? 

I'll bake you cookies! Only...I don't bake.  So...I'll give you a beer? 

What a fun mission this "Technology" month will be.  I have a fabulous idea for the video once everything is here.  

All ideas / items will stay secret until the vid is up.  

In the meantime...just get excited!

weeeeeeee! AND check out the latest video on my YT channel: youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

it's pretty freaking amazing if I do say so myself!

fiestamovement.com/agent32

xo DM 

Fierce Bitches

Pic of the Jack & Coke Lady with the fabulous "IN" Magazine Staff!

Kettle One Kelly (Kelly Ashkettle) Appletini Amy (Amy Spencer) 

and Rum Ryan (Ryan Michael Painter)

It's official.  I.  Love.  Pride.  Can every weekend be Pride weekend? What a great vibe.  Everyone is happy and friendly and excited to be there...you can feel it in the air.  You can't not have a good time.  

I played the Jack & Coke Lady for two hours while my cameraman, "Murray", filmed.  I also realized how much I love improving with the public.  I want to do much more of that.  I gave advice, held competitions for who could chug in one take, met new friends, shopped & so much more.  IN mag staff was amazing.  They were all re-named in the typical J&C fashion and were so brilliant on camera & while playing along.  Love them.  

Get over to youtube.com/BeanerLaRue where the first of a two part video is now playing.  Pretty epic footage if I do say so myself.  After editing and uploading I really don't go back to watch my videos, but this one I've watched a handful of times.  Cracks me up every time. 

The night before was the 2 hour Voodoo Box (band) / Voodoo Darlings Show.  What a rush.  Did my 'nerd' number again and then got to go go dance on stage the rest of the night.  Huge stage outdoors, giant crowd,  gorgeous pictures up on my facebook!

xo DM

Nerd Alert

Pic from last night pre performance

Last night kicked off Pride weekend.  Voodoo Darlings performed at the Hilton downtown for a big fundraiser.  So.  Much.  Fun.  Despite a knee injury that required me to stay off of it nearly up until showtime, adrenaline kicked in and I had a blast! One of my favorite shows, for sure.  I wanted to mix things up, put on a show.  So I gave them a little storyline, a little humor.  Started off (to like a virgin) as a total nerd embarrassed to perform and chickening out at the beginning and by the end loving it w/hair down, glasses off, etc.  I made the most tips of the night! Weeee! Get to do it again tonight on a big outdoor stage following comedienne Paula Poundstone.  Can't wait. 

xo me 

PRIDE

Another "Infantry Monologues" pic... according to my Facebook friends, it's very Angelina in "Tomb Raider".  Bless you, friends. :)

I've never been to the Pride festival.  

Can you believe that? What's wrong with me? It's coming up this weekend.  Voodoo Darlings are performing friday and saturday night.  I have yet to coreograph my routine.  Haven't had a chance! I was asked to do my "Like a virgin" number again, but that was one routine I wasn't in love with...so I'm gonna do something brand new with it.  

Saturday is the parade itself and if I can get my ass up early that morning, I'll be marching with "IN" magazines float, and later hanging at their booth interacting and filming as, oh yes, the Jack & Coke Lady.

I'm feeling better today, as in I'm not going to spend the whole day in bed so I gotta get my shit together.  Lots to do, little time.  Remember when I thought after May was over it would be a lazy summer? Ha ha.  That was cute.  Gotta work out, pick my SkyMall items for Ford, maybe film a new video...Jan is just dying for video #4...byeeee!

xo me 

June 1...catching up

"Infantry Monologues" is closed.  

We had a very successful run, especially for a new theatre company.  To say I learned a lot along the way would be an understatement.  I've said before, I want all acting experiences.  So far, I've been very lucky in getting to do all the things I've wanted to do.  A one woman show is one of them.  This monologue ran just under 40 minutes.  40 freaking minutes of just me out there.  What a workout! It's like running a marathon!

A few things happened along the way of the rehearsal process and performances that made for bad energy and difficulty for me.  I learned a long time ago to "wipe your feet at the door".  This means you leave the drama outside, you do your job, and when you're done in the theatre you can go back to your life.  I have always done and always will do this...and this show solidified it times ten.  As hard as it was to be strong and focused I know now more than ever it doesn't matter what is happening, I get the fucking job done.  I can have a bad day, be upset, have cried all day, have just read an uneducated review, but it doesn't fucking matter.  

I'll be damned if anyone or anything dares to take away even an ounce of honor in my job.  

I put my blood sweat and tears into my work.  I fall off the face of the earth.  So you know what? It doesn't matter if someone doesn't like a moment or a choice, the next person will.  It doesn't matter if someone compares me to a past performance of mine, that's not healthy.  That was then, this is now and enjoy it or not but don't tell me to keep living up to or recreating something else.  That's not reality.  Don't compare my acting self to my youtube self.  Those are two completely separate entities of me.  Those two women don't even know each other.  I have been and will be an actress first and foremost.  It's all I dreamed of since high school.  I was the little girl who couldn't get outta town  and get to NYC fast enough.  I ate, slept and breathed acting...especially theatre.  Youtube videos only came into my life a year ago.  Trust me, all actors know critique and harsh judgment comes with the territory, but it doesn't get any easier.  Why would it? We're just people doing a job like anyone else.  As you grow up and only get better maybe that's why it's harder...you know your shit better than anyone who's not in the biz judging you. 

What matters is that I love what I'm doing.  That I relish it.  That I remind myself every single time how lucky I am to be doing a show.  That other people would kill to be in my shoes.  That I believe in myself and what I can offer 110%.  That hearing my piece (of the three) was someones favorite, or made them cry, or moved them, or that they came a second time...that audience response isn't wrong.  I feel damn strong and proud of my work out there.  I had a fantastic closing performance yesterday, what a great way to end the whole experience.  I know I kicked ass out there.  I also hope it's not the last time I do a one woman show.  Only next time, I want it to be my own.  Something I write and direct and act in and play original characters.  

Right before I started rehearsals, I wondered if I needed an acting hiatus.  I wondered if I was in a phases where I was burning out, needing to find my passion for the stage again, thinking maybe I'd decline roles for a year or so.  Guess what.  I just rekindled my passion and then some.  

I could not feel more satisfied with my performance in the run of the show. :)

I started getting sick during the night last night.  I got no sleep at all and today I feel like I've been run over by a truck.  I think everything I've done the last month has caught up to me and I really need some time to sleep and recharge and say goodbye to the show.  As soon as I do, I've got my stack of scripts right next to me to start reading and preparing for.  

I'm a lucky girl.  

xo Deena 

http://www.twitter.com/deenamarie 

My mom is cooler than your mom!

When I kidnapped my mom for my first ford fiesta mission video, we took her to Saltaire, The Momen Tree and the Salt Flats.  We ended up with nearly 40 minutes of footage...which was real hard to cut down to 5.  So we made the behind the scenes video: uncut, what you didn't see! So check it, yo! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiH8yzx_Igs 

Oh, and guess what! This I've picked my second ford fiesta mission video for technology month.  My mission? "THE SKY'S THE LIMIT".  Chose items from SkyMall to use and review!

Jealous? Thought so! 

xo Deena http://www.fiestamovement.com/agent32

ARGH

It's hard to have the worlds thickest skin at all times.  

Really fucking hard.  I'm just a person, like anyone else. 

fiestamovement mission #1 Complete!

Finally, I can reveal the long awaited, highly anticipated "YO MAMA: Kidnap your mom and take her someplace she's never been!" That was my first mission for the fiestamovement! I could tell you how it went...or you could just see for yourself! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEWhVcig4nY

Official Agent Page 

http://fiestamovement.com/agents/view/32

Behind the scenes photos 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beanerlarue

Tell me what you think!

Deena Marie

It's almost OPENING!

Pic above is from filming my first mission for ford fiesta, 

details coming soon!

All pics having to do w/ford can be found at flickr.com/beanerlarue

Opening night of "Infantry Monologues" is almost here! 

Final dress tonight, preview tomorrow & opening friday! I'm so excited! As always, going through the rehearsal process you have moments of love, hate, frustration, etc.  By the end, it always comes together and you wonder what you'd been so worried about.  It's a hell of a role.  I've always said I've wanted every acting experience possible.  I've been lucky to be able to keep checking things off my list.  This is the closest thing I've done to a one woman show.  Nearly four minutes of me, all me.  It's amazing how fast it goes by! Sure doesn't feel like 40 minutes! When I walk off stage it is such a rush! I'm sweating, I'm emotional, I feel like I've run a marathon.  

This kind of show is definitely an experience that doesn't happen very often.  I want to relish every minute of it.

Deena Maire

Miss California is a douche!

Look! One of the pics from last weeks shoot is here! I LOVE IT! Cheney Photography.

Now if only I could look like that all day every day! ;)

Have you seen the latest YT video? Shot, edited & uploaded yesterday.  It's on the autoplay at youtube.com/BeanerLaRue  

Been wanting to do a parody of Miss Cali, Carrie Prejean for awhile.  As soon as those "risque" pics of her on the beach in black bikini bottoms & little black vest popped up I knew I had my spoof worthy material.  Looks to me like she's blatantly posing, looking right at the camera as her vest is open, showing a boob.  She claims the "wind blew it open" and did not know the photographer was taking her picture and can't believe a professional photographer would leak this unauthorized picture, blah blah.  

Last night, I got some crazy ass grown man leaving hateful comment towards me after hateful comment.  Deena bashing, gay bashing, you name it.  What the mother fuck?! In my video, I am clearly making fun of her photo shoot.  I think she absolutely knew her picture was being taken and I didn't think she had any reason to deny it.  She's hot! Tell the pageant bitches hell yes I posed for it, so what?! Please, I have nothing against posing semi nude or nude for that matter.  Whatever floats your boat. If you got it, flaunt it.  

But since all these creepy fucking guys got all crazy on me, talking about my 'morals', and how dare I make this video, since she had the right to voice her opinion, and bringing up the president and rights etc. let me tell you my stance, losers.  I NEVER SAID SHE WAS WRONG TO VOICE WHATEVER OPINION SHE HAS, this is fucking America! 

Now with that said, of COURSE I don't agree with WHAT she said.  I think it's back ass wards.  I absolutely one hundred million trillion percent believe in equal rights.  I could care less about pageants, Donald Trump, weather or not she keeps her crown, blah blah. 

So good lord.  It's a minute long youtube video about a photo shoot.  If you're so offended you have to leave me 800 comments you're a creep and you need a life.  And when you're some old dude leaving them? Then that gets into scary harassment territory.  So fuck off.  

I'll create what I want, when I want, how I want.  Get over it.  

If I worried about what may or may not offend someone before I make a video, or a decision, or live my life, nothing would ever get done! It's just like the little twilight fan girls hating on my Twilight Parody, or weirdos sticking up for Nadya Suleman on the Octomom vid, etc. 

Geez louise people are Crazy with a capitol C.

That's all! xo

DM

woa, nelly!

MAY is BUSY! When it rains it pours.

This week I started rehearsals, was assigned my first ford fiesta mission,

had a six hour photo shoot with three different looks.

Rehearsals are intense, the time is so short, and there is so much to do.   I tend to fall off the face of the earth when rehearsing / performing so you've been warned.  Playing an army chick again.  If you'd have told me I'd ever even be considered to play something like that a few years ago, I never would have believed it.  This one is trickier than the last.  Now my character is IN the army as opposed to just out.  All that gear! Oh my lord! :) My official ford agent page is up so take a look and see what fabulous / hilarious mission I've picked.  He he he.  It's perfect.  http://www.fiestamovement.com/agent32 The shoot started out with a very high fashion, sophistacated look to a funky glam rock to swimsuit.  I can't wait to see the results.  That's it.  I actually have a few hours this morning to get things done.  So peace, I'm out!

xo me

A lot of things

First: I made a flickr account that will be devoted (for the next 6 months) to the ford fiesta movement.  Keep an eye on it from time to time!  I've just uploaded the Denver, Colorado training pictures.  The suite, the swag, the racetrack and the car!  http://www.flickr.com/beanerlarue 

Yesterday I watched a marathon of "Real Housewives of New York".  Why didn't anyone tell me it's like the most captivating show ever?  No, really.  Who ARE these women?! They all seem to be friends...who hate eachother.  Why do they have so much money that dropping $16,000 on a new bag as well as being surprised with a new car for their birthday is nothing to bat an eyelash over? How does Bethenney (who I am in love with) keep such a down to earth attitude when, at least to me, she has got it all and then some! They lead such comfortable, glamorous lives what with private fashion shows, endless fashion week invites and magazine covers.  Am I in the wrong business here?!

I went on another 'Deena learns to drive a stick shift' lesson today.  It went the best it's gone so far...but still not ready to go on my own!  Still tricky to remember to do so many things at once.  Doesn't help that I'm super preoccupied with rehearsals about to start.  

I'll be in rehearsals the next two weeks, performing the two after that.  Wish me luck.  

Tuesday I have a photoshoot.  Super high fashion with a very talented photographer.   Can't wait. 

One last thing.  Who's watching 90210? It sucks.  Hard.  Real real real bad.  The worst thing I've ever seen.  Yet I tivo it every week.  It's so terrible that I can't look away.  The writing is HILARIOUS! So if you're not watching it, I suggest you start.  Now.

~Deena 

I got my Ford Fiesta!

AHHHH! I'm so tired I don't even know who I am or what day it is!

I am back from Denver training! Flew out tuesday afternoon - hassled at the airport for not meeting the liquid requirements.  Two security dudes held me up forever, afraid I was going to be late.  One was a total jackass the other was really cool - so I told him all about the fiesta movement, he already knew a little bit about the fiesta coming to the US in a year! 

Plane was late taking off nearly an hour - here's where the stress level continues to build - I had my fingers crossed that my driver would be waiting for me!  Made it in only 30 minutes late, we made up for time during the flight.

Hotel.  Was.  Gorgeous.  I got to my room opened the door and saw a huge, contemporary, funky suite.  Was sad I wouldn't be spending more time in there!

We met downstairs, 8 of us total, went out to a delicious dinner, everyone was so laid back and nice!  We learned all about the fiesta movement, how to navigate our online contributions, media, etc.  Let me just say: THIS THING IS HUGE.  I mean, I knew it was when I signed on to do this - but you don't quite grasp the magnitude of it until you get there.  WHAT a once in a lifetime chance! We got some swag which included addidas sneakers, sony webbie (orange for me) cams, and fiesta movement t shirts.  

The majority of the group were guys.  I was the only "youtube celeb/personality".  The rest were mainly car enthusiasts.  Isn't it wild how the fiestamovement has brought so many people together and interested? With the fiestamovement.com site up we're able to share our own personal sites and footage.  We all want to drive this car / be involved in the movement for so many different reasons! Out of 4,000 entries the 100 agents chosen are so diverse - we cover quite a span of ages, careers and interests.  Each training session sounded like it was tons of fun with all sorts of personalities and vibes.  

Totally cool.  Gatherings like these would never happen otherwise.

I never have a spare moment and after working hard all week I was beat by the time we went back to the hotel.  I thought I'd want to hit the town, but I opted for a bottle of red wine via room service and an Ichat with Dave.  

Early morning wednesday.  Breakfast.  Learned more about the car itself.  Checked out & headed to the racetrack.  Everyone had the hot magenta or lime.  Most had graphics, but I had opted for none on "Rosalita"...little Rosie for short.   Lunch then learned how to drive a stick!! I was trained by a professional - and while I learned from the best, I knew I would not want to risk driving it on my own the first day.  I want to be 110% confident before I'm around other cars.  

My instructor drove me to the airport (after 3 laps around the track like bats outta hell where he drove and I tried not to cry, pass out & throw up a little) where Dave had flown in to drive the new car for me and we headed home from there.

I love Rosalita!  She's so tiny - she looks like a little pink space age bubblemobile from the outside, but inside you don't feel like you're in a small car.  It's so comfortable and gorgeous! We stopped for dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Laramie, Wyoming called Corona Town? Corona Ville? It's like the only thing off of the freeway exit with nothing around it and it's huge!  Totally packed with other people passing through.  

Stopped for gas and I accidentally told poor Dave the wrong type of gas (what can I say, It'd been a long day) and we were so confused trying to find a station with the right kind / nozzle.  Duh.  Figured that out.  A few hours later we stopped for gas again, got the see cashier sign and went inside only to wait forever since their systems were down.  Decided to go to the next gas station across the street, drove literally for 10 seconds and right when we pulled up to the pump? Flashing police lights behind us.  Driving with no headlights- which we hadn't realized - but no ticket, got to tell the cop about the fiestamovement and gave him a business card.  He seemed excited to check it out! Ha ha ha.  

By then it was a little before midnight when we realized we were too beat to go through the night and should probably just stay.  Found a Best Western.  Geez, what a downgrade from the night before :)  It was totally smelly but I was so happy to sleep.  When I laid down I felt like I was still moving after being in a car so long.  Good thing I don't get motion sickness! Next thing I knew, alarm went off at 7 am and we were off again.  Stopped for breakfast and finally made it back to SLC.  

I'm totally delirious.  I have so much to do it's not even funny.  I still squeezed in another driving lesson, this time with my dad and it was so much fun.  I felt like I was really getting the hang of it.  Still not ready for the road, but a lot more confident that I will be able to.  I'm not gonna push it, I'm going to take my time and practice! I never thought I'd learn how or want to learn how to drive a stick.  Never say never! 

I've given up on the fact I won't be up for a workout.  I took a nap instead.  Gotta work on my script later & get back into the swing of things this weekend.  

PS I missed my baby dog so much! My mom stayed at our house with him and I have been kissing and hugging him like crazy all day.  We're bundled in a blanket as I type this and he's sleeping...

(I'll post pictures of the last couple days sometime this weekend!)

Rehearsals, photoshoots and lots of video projects coming up! 

Goodnight! zzzzzzzz