Omg, FUN!

Surgery! Needles and anesthesia and doctors, oh my!

I looooove surgery!

(This is the part where you feel my sarcasm comin' atcha thru the interwebs!)

Sooooo in case you haven't noticed, this tiny little blog gets the least amount of attention than any of my other sites. By, like, a LOT. And you'll also see it's the one part of my interweb persona that gives you a teeny tiny more personal glimpse into, what else?

A day in the life of Deena Marie.

Soooo some of you know I had to have surgery last thursday, Sept. 3. Nothing major. Although isn't "minor surgery" an oxymoron? You know, like, "constructive criticism"? ;)

I had my first ever surgery a year and a half ago. And this was something related that wasn't quite worked out from the first one. There's never a convenient time to do it, to take a week off from life. But what are you gonna do?

I soon found out that I didn't get over my fear of doctors and needles and anesthesia like I thought I had. In fact, I may have been even more freaked out leading up to it. I mean, I got through it the first time...but what if that was lucky? What if this is the time where I wake up in the middle of the operation and try to scream out but they don't know I'm awake and I feel it all?! Or what if I have a heart attack and die in the middle of it? My poor husband and parents out there in the waiting room..how will the doctors tell them? What will they do? What if they start operating just before I'm fully out?

Can you tell I often let my imagination get the best of me?

I think surgery must be like having a baby. The first few days are from hell. My tiny body has a hard time dealing with getting anesthesia out of my system and taking lortab. I don't even like to take a freaking advil. I sleep constantly so I hardly eat. I lose weight. And I'm full of drugs. But when my coma starts to wear off and I come back to the land of the living I forget how much it all sucked and have to ask everyone what I did and said and how bad of a patient was I? It's kinda like what chicks say about having a second baby. You forget the pain, so you do it again.

Anyway. This time I came around a day or two sooner and now my problem has been BOREDOM! I'm. So. Bored. I can't stand not being productive and not being able to leave the house!!!!!

I have to go back to see my dr. tomorrow and it will be the first time I've left the house in almost a week! If you know me, you know what a busy bee I am so this has been torture. At first, I tried to think of it like a vacation. An involuntary vacation, but a vacation. But...I can only take so much of laying in bed watching tv and playing online. My bum hurts from all the sitting!

I hope to be right back to normal by the weekend. I hope. I have too much to do!

We're in the midst of the "New Moon" shoot and now I'm totally stalling our production! But guess what? I promise it will be up by the end of september!!!! We have started editing what we've already filmed, and one of our actors (Edward, ladies) recorded his vocals in the studio yesterday! I heard the finished version today and peed a little. Everything about this video is going to be bigger and better then "Twilight High School Musical"!

I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT TO SHOW YOU GUYS!

Wish me a speedy recovery! :)

xoxo DM

"New Moon: The Musical" *update*

Alright kiddies, the time you've all been waiting for is almost here!

The highly anticipated follow up to "Twilight High School Musical"..."New Moon: The Musical"! We've done a combo of two trailers that are out there. Four characters. Three songs. Bigger and better than last time! We only have one more scene to shoot in a week or so...and then we'll record vocals and the editing will begin! Here are some sneak peek shots from the set!

Click photos for larger image!

1 Me

2 Trevor, Freddy, Me

3 Me, Dave, Trevor

4 My mom, Me, Trevor

Bella, Jacob and Laurant (out of costume) haven't filmed Edward yet :)

GET EXCITED!!!!!!

xo youtube.com/BeanerLaRue & youtube.com/MissDeenaMarie

xoxo DEENA

My Social Activism video is up!

Take a look & learn all about Pinups for Pups!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_vrK1HDjvQ

Sondra Joy is the founder of this great cause! Here I get to interview her!

xo

Deena Marie

Puppies & pinups!

Me & Noodles posing in front of Rosalita.

Last sunday we filmed my Ford Fiesta Mission video #4. It's social activism month and I have to admit, this month was the hardest one for me to come up with what the video would be! I wanted to make sure it was the right cause, something I was truly and honestly passionate about (after all, the cause would be getting a generous donation on behalf of Ford). Of course, this meant helping animals, hopefully dogs, and in a way that still had the Deena Marie stamp!

I was at a loss when I opened local weekly paper, "IN" Magazine and saw that this weeks scene maker was non other than Sondra Joy, founder of Pinups for Pups! I've been aware of this for awhile and was dying to connect with her, and here she was, relocated to SLC from LA! We met for lunch, made some plans and filmed a fabulous video! Pinups and pups? Two thinks I love! How insanely perfect!

I learned all about her successful cause and she introduced me to Friends of Animals and Furburbia, a dog shelter in Park City where we were able to go and see rescued pups and get great footage.

My baby, Noodles just had his second birthday on August 18th and if you know us, you know how he totally changed my life. I want every dog and animal to be loved just as much as he is.

You are 100% responsible for your pet, so treat them well. They are your family member. They can't tell you what they need, so do everything you can to make them loved and comfortable.

I loved doing this mission. My favorite part of the ford fiesta movement has been meeting people and going places I may not have otherwise!

I'm waiting to hear on approval for the video & will post a link as soon as I get it. I can't wait for everyone to learn more about Sondra & her cause.

And because I know people will ask if I'm going to be in an upcoming calendar...yes :) we'll shoot for it in the next few months. All in good time.

In the meantime, check out my flickr photos here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beanerlarue/sets/72157622106121104/

My agent page: http://www.fiestamovement.com/agent32

xo Deena

ahhhhhhh

Have you ever wanted something so bad you can't stand it?

You can hardly sit still?

You are hoping for it with every fiber of your being?

Jumping out of your skin?

Feeling like you are laughing and crying at the same time?

I know I won't get any sleep tonight...

it has to happen sometime.

Please let it be now!

x

Land Before Time

Something amazing happened yesterday.

"The Land Before Time" came on the HBO Family channel and I watched it and was in love with it and pretty much cried through the whole thing. Then "The Land Before Time II" came on right after!!!! And then another and another! How many are there?!

Apparently (as I was just alerted on twitter by the fabulously funny @jimmyrabbitte) there are 13 AND two sing-a-longs!

I'm dying.

We got them all on tivo when we had to leave to go watch roller derby last night and after a long day of shooting for Ford today, what better to come home to than these spunky baby dinos?! There's pretty much one of every dino in the group and boy does adventure find them!

I'm learning so much, like how to conserve water, the importance of community, to be nice to everyone and to run from the sharp teeth.

Why is Little Foot so wise? And where does his beautiful singing voice come from? How can I make Ducky real and have her as a pet? She is the most precious thing I've ever seen! She repeats everything twice! Yes she does, yes she does! I know she'd get along great with Noodles! Why do they stay babies and never grow up? Why is that Petrie so tiny?

The lyrics to the songs are just as awesome, too. "When you were an egg you were a cutie but now you're a real beauty!"

I think if HBO Family was the only channel I could have I would be okay with that. Yes. I said that.

If you haven't seen these I suggest you find them. Now. And let me know if you also laugh, cry and get up and jump around when the songs come on. I'm telling you, it's edge of your seat, action - packed Suspense with a capitol S!

In the meantime, go familiarize yourself with these dinos here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Land_Before_Time_characters

xoDM

Guess what?

These are my next two upcoming theatre roles.

If this isn't versatility I don't know what is! :)

More at deenamarie.biz

xo DM

What the fuck do you care? Yeah, I said FUCK!

Ok. So. The top picture is taken from my facebook page a couple of months ago. You'll see there is some man trying to tell me and my contacts what language is acceptable.

Hmmmm...I thought this was my own personal facebook? I thought there was a little something called freedom of speech? The other day, I checked one of my email addresses and saw "Pete" still hadn't let it go. This is an old email accounts that I don't even use or post for people to contact me anymore. Somehow "Pete" found it. If you can't read it, this is what he said:

"Would you cuss that way on Facebook if your own children were listening to it? You won't be talking to our grandchildren that way, on Facebook or anywhere else. I think you should grow up. You've got a lot of talent but you're wasting it. Think about it when you're a mother (I don't know if you are one yet). It's not just Facebook. You have a responsibility in a public domain and you should have a conscience considering children and families. Other than that this destruction of our connection wouldn't have been necessary. Good luck. God bless you in your future endeavors. Pete from Facebook.

No really. You can't make this shit up. Where to start?

Let's see, "Pete"...first of all, how do you "listen" on Facebook? Who's grandchildren are you fucking talking about? Hate to break it to you but if you're concerned about what they see on my page you should probably ban them from the internet all together!

I love that you think I should "grow up", because you know me oh so very well. Here's the thing, the beauty of creating an online personality is that you only show what you want.

You don't know me. You know characters.

My private life is something only my real life close friends and family get to be a part of. Hate to burst that fucking bubble.

So I've got a lot of talent and I'm wasting it. Gee Petey, last time I checked I was pretty fucking busy 24/7 working as a professional actress, finishing up various theatre gis, booking two more, one of which is a world premiere, just getting back into town from a high profile runway event where I was one of six models, churning out videos like a mother fucker, coreographing two routines for the troupe I dance with, scheduling upcoming photo shoots, juggling film projects, traveling and wishing I had time to work on the other 100 projects swirling around in my head...shall I go on or do you get it honey? Am I wasting time because I'm not a movie star? By all means, go ahead and wave your magic wand.

No dear, not a mother. I'm fucking young. Because I live where I live and all you think of is the stereotype of girls getting married right out of high school and churning out babies does NOT mean I'm one of them. Open your mind, I'm too busy with a fucking career.

Another thing that might blow your fucking mind...ready for this?

I do not have a responsibility because I'm in a public domain in any way shape or form.

I can do whatever the fuck I want here and if you don't like it you don't need to be a part of it. Real easy, isn't it? Did I set out to be a squeaky clean role model? FUCK NO. Never did I claim it, never would I want that. If I'm so offensive to you, your family and your children JUST DON'T WATCH. The minute I start to censor myself and worry what people think is the minute this is all for nothing. I don't roll that way. Never have, never will. You can't please everyone. What a waste to live your life that way.

I'm sorry I used foul language, dad. I mean Pete. Wait! Oh my god! I already have a father. In fact he's one of my Facebook contacts so you can just shut the fuck up.

I love that you think I'm such a badass. Little ole me, what with all the real creepers, porn, god knows what on the internet that you certainly don't want your grandkids seeing...I assume.

Yup. I'm soooooo bad.

Destruction of our connection?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???? I blocked YOU, remember? And then you still emailed me. I don't know who you are, or anything about you. And guess what? Vice versa. God, Pete, get a fucking life. You're probably far too old to have your panties in a bunch and give such a shit.

Your message irks me. You know why? Because it shows you think women should pop out babies and set your idea of an "expample" by saying and doing the "right thing".

You don't have to agree with me and I don't have to agree with you...but I would NEVER think it was my place to tell someone I didn't know that they should behave the way I wanted them to.

IT'S CREEPY! YOU ARE CREEPY!

And just for the record? I swore in this blog approximately 14 times, just for you.

Cheers! Deena from facebook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNJdEKe8ptM

"500 Days of Summer"...what it meant to me.

Yesterday we saw "500 Days of Summer".

I had high expectations and was enjoying it...but by the end I had no idea how much it would affect me. It was so important for me. I felt like I needed to see it. It answered questions, gave me closure and reminded me how lucky I am.

First of all, as far as my relationship experiences have gone, it was total role reversal. I was the Joseph Gordon Levitt character. I knew just what he felt like every step of the way. To be with someone so unattainable and so head over heels.

At the end of the movie, Zooey's characater (the quirky girl who doesn't want a commitment), ends up married to someone else. He says to her "how did the girl who didn't want a boyfriend end up someone's wife"? That hit me hard. That was my situation with a boy years ago in another state. I could not imagine him ever telling a girl that he loved her, let alone becoming a husband. And guess what he was right after we broke up?

I wondered for years how it happened. What was it that made him settle down? What made him propose? What made him choose her? What was it about me? I have never been able to wrap my head around it. I moved on, sure. But not having an answer always bothered me. I am the kind of person who needs to know why.

She tells him that she just knew.

She knew with this guy what she was unsure of with the other.

Oh. My. God. That's it. That's all and that's it.

You just meet the one that changes your life. The one that you can't imagine life without and there is nothing else to figure out. That simple. My years of wondering and analyzing were simplified and healed in that moment.

She goes on to talk about fate...which I absolutely believe in. She talks about the day she meets the man that will become her husband in a deli, "what if I had gone to the movies that day? What if I had come in ten minutes later?"

Again. Oh. My. God.

Here I am, sitting next to the love of my life. I squeeze his hand. I hold back my tears.

What if I hadn't come home from nyc to do the play where I met him? What if I hadn't called him back? What if?

The thing is...it is as it's meant to be. For me, for him. For the boy in my past.

I was reminded of the time when my heart was breaking and I thought I was going to die. I never thought I'd be able to get up off the couch and breathe again. I only wish I could have whispered to that girl that she would be okay. She would grow up to meet The One and be where she was supposed to be.

I wished this movie would have come out years ago! But again, for whatever reason, it was meant for me to see it yesterday. It had a hopeful ending. It was heartbreakingly beautiful, clever, funny and hopeful. It was perfect. I watched three teenage girls walk in to see it and wonder what they'll take away from it. What will anyone at any age and stage of relationship take away from it?

The amount of passion and love and attraction you can have for another human is pretty remarkable. It's always different depending on the chemistry of two people. As you grow and you experience more and can heal and look back on it...even the painful parts become beautiful, don't they?

xo Deena Marie

sneak peek "White Trash Glam"

Sunday, July 5 I filmed my third Ford Fiesta mission video. This month is style & design.

I was already booked on a shoot and asked if we could bring along the car for some shots and combine our projects.

The footage turned out great and I'm hoping to post it before the July 28 deadline, but I leave for NYC tomorrow through the rest of the week so we'll see.

The real pictures will be amazing, and in the meantime enjoy this sneek peak!

Their concept was "White Trash Glam": Married to the Mob meets My Name is Earl.

Styling / makeup: Amber Woody

Photographer: Doug Carter

Special thanks: Nikki (hair), Rebecca (model), Chad (assistant)

fiestamovement.com/agent32

youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

twitter.com/DeenaMarie

facebook.com/DeenaMarie

Clean it out, bitches!

At the risk of sounding like I have oodles of money and live a lavish life when I say I have a ton of clothes, the fact of the matter is, I have a ton of clothes.

I. Mean. A. Ton.

Two overflowing closets upstairs, a jam packed dresser in one room, multiple drawers stuffed in another, and then there's my "costume" closet in the garage.

The truth is, I just don't throw anything away. Stacy & Clinton would be upset that I have such "emotional attachment" to my clothing...I mean, I have stuff I wore in jr. freaking high. We're talking 9th grade, bitches.

It's just that I find every time I throw something out I want it again!

But lately I've been doing a lot of shopping. A. Lot. How can I do this? FOREVER 21. I'm in love. I'm obsessed. Everything is cheap and since I'm a fickle one I don't feel bad buying a new dress I might only wear twice. It was $20.

My poor husband, on the other hand, has to live with my clothes piles strewn about, my new purchases coming in & nothing going out...in fact the other day the bar the clothes hang on in one of the closets actually broke!

It was time to *gulp* clean them out.

So we did. Piles of clothes to get rid of. I couldn't have done it without him. His occasional "Ugly Betty would wear this". Or telling me that he was going to put a certain jacket away in the "costume closet" until I was going to "make that clown video" or "learn to flamenco dance". You have to know that this is all in good fun and had me laughing my ass off.

Can I just tell you how many designer jeans got the boot? I went through the phase three years ago or so where all my jeans had to be true religion, sevens, rock & republic, you name it I had it. And yes, I bough the $315 pair of Victori Beckhams. Now, I'm much more into tights and flowy dresses and tops. These jeans are out, if I want new ones I'll buy them later and probably not for that much money. A little silly, no?

I took them to a place that I won't mention (Platos Closet) and I certainly couldn't tell you the location (Draper, UT) to see what they could do for me. I've never sold clothes like this before but with impending traveling I could use some extra cash.

After they looked through my stuff and called me up, she could only offer me $109 for about 1/4 of what I'd brought in. I said sure...but as she was writing my check I started feeling anxiety over my Victoria Beckhams. I asked her how much they were paying for those alone.

Girl: $20

Me: WHAT?!

Girl: That's what we can offer for this designer.

Me: OMG! Then...I'll just hang on to these.

Girl: *WORLDS LOUDEST SIGH* Next time you need to tell me first before I write the check.

Me: *Silent but thinks how there won't be a next time*

Girl: *WORLDS LOUDEST SIGH AGAIN*

Oh and by the way? Her name was Shalese.

In the end, this was a very big step for me to clean out my closets. To realize I can survive it and it's a good thing to have more space. As much as I think I'll want something again...deep down I know it will just sit another three years and never get worn.

I lived through it. I can get rid of clothing.

But there is nothing wrong with emotional attachment...in small doses, right?

Just one teeny tiny pair of overpriced VB jeans tucked away that I just want to look at from time to time?

Baby steps.

And in another few years if I do sell again...I don't think I'll be going back to *WORLDS LOUDEST SIGH* Shalese.

xo Deena

Oh Joel!

Dear Joel McHale...

I think you're real dreamy. And I sure liked sitting on the fourth row when you did stand up. If I wasn't married...and you weren't married...and I somehow met you...and didn't come off like I was a creepy stalker? I'm pretty sure you'd totally dig me.

Thanks,

Deena

www.deenamarie.biz

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson passed away yesterday.

I was sitting on my couch with my laptop and saw it on twitter pretty much right when the word was out. I saw Perez Hiltons twitter first, saying he'd gone into cardiac arrest. I spent the next hour or two looking online, where TMZ was first to break the news. Twitter was crazy with everyone reporting what they'd heard, learning the news, etc. Then I started seeing that reports went from "not looking good" to he had passed.

I felt so weird.

So weird. It was surreal. A few hours later I started reading various tweets and status updates where people didn't care, made jokes, said to "get priorities straight and forget the celeb and think of Iran", to stop pretending like you care when you weren't truly a fan.

First of all, whether you loved him or hated him, it's really gross to make a joke of death. The posts telling us to forget him and think of Iran? Way to soon. It had only been a matter of hours. It's not like a week's gone by and since you weren't a fan you're sick of the media coverage. Let his fans fucking grieve and deal with this! And the stop pretending like you care? Would people seriously mention it and feel sad over it if they didn't care?

It seems, of course, people are very divided. That not everyone out there realized that he still has a huge fanbase! I'm not going to play the pretentious game today that his celebrity pales to what really matters in the world and Iran. Somebody who influenced me since I was little is gone. This is a huge impact to me and many people I know.

Family members of mine in their 40's are mourning because they feel he was the icon of their generation, and strangely enough, I feel the same way. He was timeless. I remember first hearing him in my late elementary, early jr. high years, when my dad let me borrow a CD (that I never gave back & still have in my collection.)

In high school, every weekend my group of friends would go disco roller skating and they played plenty of old school MJ. We knew every song, we bought his videos (still have them on VHS), we tried to learn his dance moves...I had both female and male friends that were fantastic at it (Amber, McGarren) and I can't tell you how many times they'd take off skates, get out in the middle of the rink and wow everyone. I remember one of my aunts giving a pair of MJ autographed shoes to my high school best friend, Amber who was his greatest fan. She had an MJ doll and wanted to get an MJ tattoo when we were old enough. :)

I associate his music and his videos so much with high school.

I also remember being 15 years old and kissing a cute blonde boy I had a huge crush on at a dance to "Earth Song". When you're so young, discovering...everything is brand new and exciting.

I still list "Earth Song" as one of my favorite songs of all time.

As I got older and became a professional performer, I borrowed from him as I learned to really appreciate how fucking talented he was. I can't tell you how many times I've watched "Bad", "Beat It" and "Thriller" to steal a move here or there. Yes, I can do the thriller dance. Yes, I did a homage performance to him last August for Voodoo Darlings Burlesque to "Bad" (see above picture).

I can type this right now, today and honestly tell you I am a fan. I love his music, I own it all. I love love love his dancing. Nobody moves like him. He invented something new and different and beyond entertaining.

I learned a lot yesterday. There are so many opinions out there and that's great. I think that's extremely beautiful and interesting. We all take something a very different way. On the same token, let's be kind and respectful to each other with this. It's all hit us a different way. We may not understand why it has effected someone particularly hard. We may not understand what memories or personal experiences are associated to this person and this passing. I read a quote the other day that I think very much comes into play right now...

"Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".

I hope Michael is remembered for his talent.

He inspired us performers and impacted us very, very much. RIP.

xo Deena

fiestamovement - mission #2 - technology!

The moment you've all been waiting for will soon be here.

Ford Fiesta Mission #2 for Technology month, "The Sky's the Limit: pick items from skymall.com to use and review"!

Today I did just that. It's filmed and being edited as we speak.

Have you been wondering what I chose?

Want to see some on set sneak peek pictures?

Here you go!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beanerlarue/sets/72157620029782332/

Video will be up soon! In the meantime,

check out my agent profile at

http://www.fiestamovement.com/agent32

And my latest videos at http://www.youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

xo Deena Marie

Pressies!

Guess what? 

Two of my ten items from SkyMall came today. Yup.  I said ten. 

Ten pressies for video making!

Thank you, fiestamovement! How can I ever thank you? 

Can you come over? 

I'll bake you cookies! Only...I don't bake.  So...I'll give you a beer? 

What a fun mission this "Technology" month will be.  I have a fabulous idea for the video once everything is here.  

All ideas / items will stay secret until the vid is up.  

In the meantime...just get excited!

weeeeeeee! AND check out the latest video on my YT channel: youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

it's pretty freaking amazing if I do say so myself!

fiestamovement.com/agent32

xo DM