Jun 23, 2010

Hypocrisy, Forgiveness & Perfection

On my mind...

The definition of Forgiveness:
To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
To renounce anger or resentment against.

I never thought I'd be one to forgive. How can you forgive when you can't forget? And when I've been wronged, I'm an elephant. I held onto grudge like nobody's business.

A great blog on Holding a grudge:
An excerpt: "To hold a grudge is to keep yourself in a Mercurial orbit about whatever has hurt you. To accept what has happened, to forgive when and as you genuinely can, and to will yourself to look around at the larger context within which that solar event is but a point of light, is to give yourself the gift of a continuing journey."

I've learned (I'm still learning) that it's okay to change your mind and ideals. I've recently forgiven something big and I couldn't be happier about it. Consider forgiveness for each fall-out you may have. Time and reflection make a difference. Honor the guts it must take someone to come back with an apology. Especially if it's something you couldn't have done yourself. I thought that forgiving would make me a hypocrite (next section below) but I no longer believe that to be true.

A quote: "If you are at war with others you cannot be at peace with yourself".

* * * * *
Definition of a Hypocrite: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue and religion.
a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.

Definition of Hypocrisy: the act of persistently professing beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities or standards that are inconsistent with ones actions. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie.

Hypocrisy scares the bejesus out of me. I know we all do it. Now if we mean to or not, is another story. I am who I am. I've always been myself and true to what I believe to be right, right for me. I don't worry about what people think, or people pleasing. I could care less. I think everyone should be that way, and stand up for themselves and their beliefs. What I can't get past are people that blatantly tell one person of their hatred for someone or something, then go to that very person or place and shower them with compliments. Who are you lying to? What's true? How can there be any kind of trust in friendship when you live your life that way? When done in such a calculated manner, it's something I'll never understand.

A quote: "Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds."
On my mind...

* * * * *
The definition of Perfection:
freedom from fault or defect.
An unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence.

Just googling and reading the definitions alone makes me laugh. Freedom from fault or defect? Unsurpassable excellence or accuracy? Well, that's impossible so that should make perfectionists breathe a little sigh of relief. I used to be the queen of the perfectionists. This manifested itself over the years in different ways. Too personal to get into now. But physically, mentally, emotionally, you name it. I used to beat myself up over my "lack of perfection" like you wouldn't believe. It was enough to ruin a day, a week, an entire experience. With time and growing up I've naturally chilled out. I've learned to savor and enjoy much more than I ever would have thought possible. But every now and then I'll get hit with it. Maybe it won't last as long, but that feeling can come up out of nowhere to bite me again. Maybe it's something I'll always struggle with at various times in my life. Maybe when I have a handle on one aspect it will sneak into another. I currently know where it's living, so I'm keeping an eye on it.

A quote: "Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing"

xo DMM

No comments:

Post a Comment