Aug 20, 2012

Me.




She parcels out her personality.  Only few end up with a rich sum.
Very few, indeed.

She keeps close and does not reveal the guts within the core.
Each parceled part, particle, varies greatly depending on environment and aura.
Depends on which version of her you met her during.

Letting out one sliver in one part of her life, she is at constant risk of misrepresentation
for it is not worth any riches to any in her presence.

To be next to her, to speak to her, is not to know her.

In another part, you get nearly all.  And if you are close enough and give enough in return, you affect and inspire and exchange.

A carefully crafted lifetime of being the asker of all, revealer of none,
she's certain no one sees past the smoke and mirrors through to the simplicity of her great trick.

To her own dismay,
doing this has taught her to shut it down rather than invite it in.

They only know she's made them feel important,
and if the exchange goes on long enough, a bit of her strength and other-wordly
qualities just might rub off.

Even so, when you walk away see if you can describe her.
Truly, try.  Make it meaningful.

You can't.

Sometimes so lost inside, she feels gone are those glory days when regal 
was a world used to describe her.
When she was special.  When she was the chosen one.

You see, it is because some days she experiences her physical presence as much larger, bulkier than it ever has been or will be because of the weight of the world that sometimes swells too much unseen inside.

These are heavy days.  It's hard to move through her atmosphere in this little slice of life on those days.

Other days she is certain she's hardly dwelling in her person at all, but beyond!
Radiating through her little space of world with all that is true in her heart.

In great danger of romanticizing everything and experiencing any and every exchange as too much, she seeks instinctually for more.  It is primal.  This need in her to have everything truly be as deep and and as worthy of the importance she assigns it.
She will make it so.

Her nervous system feels inside out sometimes and she is afraid it seeps closer to it's way out of her physicality the older she grows.

Her static feelers out to the world, translating back to her the various levels of sensitivity before she even gets that far, effective immediately.

Certain only of the fact that she is not at all her person, but a complex web, buzzing and alive, a star system too forcefully stuffed into something much to small to retain.

Constant restriction, because she is just too big.



Tweet me: @DeenaMarie

Above photo by Lauren's Photography 8/2012

1 comment:

  1. Your first paragraph. Bravo. God you make me jealous.

    ReplyDelete