Nov 24, 2011

I flew!

Last night I had my first flying dream! At least as I think it was my first. If I've had one before, I can't remember it. Just a week or two ago I was talking about dreams in the dressing room at the theatre with the other two girls in the cast. When they mentioned flying dreams I said I'd never had one, and wished that I would.

I'm into dreams. I'm into the meaning of dreams.

I have the same dreams. As in I'll get into a cycle with a recurring theme and then after I've dreamt that a few times it will be something else. I first noticed it with the apocalyptic dreams, then it was water. I always dream about my dog. And sometimes a terrible dream about my dog in water. Sometimes I know exactly where they stem from, and sometimes I have no idea but it makes such an impact on me that I know it must mean / represent something.

Like my dog sinking in water. Usually in a bathtub, not being able to swim, just sinking. What is that?!

When I dream out of the "cycle", when something breaks the norm it's usually very vivid and I think about it for days and again, I am curious as to what it means and why I thought it up.

Before this play opened, I dreamt of my childhood home. It was my old porch, my old backyard and round tables were set up for all of my family to sit at and eat. It was a reunion or a party of some kind. It was a sunny day. I think I was in a long dress. I don't remember who exactly was there, other than I knew it was family. I was also there as a baby, around 1 year old. I was in a fuzzy yellow onesie that I've seen myself in, in pictures in my moms photo album. It wasn't supposed to be another baby, it was me. But nobody seemed weirded out by that. I got to meet me, and spent most of the party carrying me around. I could feel the baby me so realistically. I was heavy. I could feel the texture of the onesie. I loved and cared for this little baby me.

I am pretty sure of why I dreamt this one. It was a combination of things in my life and lines in the play. Family was weighing heavy on my mind, what with what's going on in my real life and doing a play all about a family. But I do wonder if there is deeper meaning because it was me. My inner child? Something that needs extra care right now? I'm not sure.

The next big dream after that was running from a tiger who was eating everyone in it's path. It wasn't bloody, it wasn't gory. I just knew it was happening. I kept climbing up high but the tiger could climb too. One of the actresses in the show brought me her dream dictionary and there were a few things it could have meant. One being ego! I just don't know.

Then last night I finally got to fly. It was outside, it was day time and I think I was near a beach. My Sweetheart was a part of this one. He stood behind me and I told him to hold on. I went to spread my arms like wings, and stuck out my right arm. He hugged around my shoulders, my left arm was still pinned to my side. I told him to hold me lower, so I could "use my wings", or something along those lines, even though I didn't actually have wings.

Then we flew.

I think there were moments he was in control, too, but then I took over completely and told him I could do tricks. It was fun and I could go high, dip down low, twist, etc. I began to realize while we were flying what I was doing, and I couldn't believe I was just finding out I had this ability. In my dream I had a plane ticket somewhere, across a sea, and I said if I could do this (and I could fly fairly fast) then I would be able to cancel my plane ticket because I was pretty sure I could make it the distance across the sea...

Right now I think this dream represents one big freeing sigh of relief. I feel that I'm learning so much lately and after some ebbs and flows with what I feel I should be doing, where I should be in my life, my creativity, my relationships, my family, I'm getting into a spot where I feel such gratitude my eyes tear up when I think about what I DO have. I feel things shifting and settling and happening all around me and I feel good. I feel things have cleared the way to show me what is right. There are no coincidences. Things change so quickly in a life. I feel things are moving to show me what is important. I feel my focus has done a 180 and it's suddenly become about what IS, not what ISN'T. Another ever so tiny step toward a higher consciousness, you might say.

Oh soul, you worry too much. You have seen your own strength. You have seen your own beauty.You have seen your golden wings. Of anything less, why do you worry? You are in truth the soul, of the soul, of the soul.
- Rumi

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