Jun 22, 2012

I shaved my head.

I did it.  On Monday June 18, 2012 I had my head shaved.  No, I haven't lost my mind.  No I didn't do it for a role.  No I didn't do it for modeling.

I did it because it was on my bucket list.  
I did it for me.

If you know me or keep up with my blog here then you know that my uncle passed away recently.  Five weeks ago our lives changed.  The change was instant.  The change was permanent.  The change was profound.  It marked what had already been a little over a year of spiritual growth and transition for me.  

That day I felt a definite end and beginning all at once. 

I saw with my own eyes that we are not our physical bodies.  I detached from the ego.  Worrying about externals was suddenly foreign to me.  It was time to propel to reinvention.  It was a time to mourn and to heal.  

It was time for rebirth.  
A new normal.  

I felt completely different and have ever since.  I wanted my outside to reflect the change that is happening internally.  

I wanted to get back to the essence of me.  
I wanted what is natural.  
Inside and out. 

Shaving my head was something that I'd always thought would be liberating.  Who hasn't thought that starting your hair over would be nice? We do so much to it! We worry about it looking right.  Every day! Being the right length.  Dyed the right color.  Spending thousands of dollars to be what we want it to be.  Adding fake hair.  Maintaining it.  Who doesn't wonder what their natural color is? I seriously didn't know at this point.  It's been over a decade.  

So what it would be like to start over? Healthy hair this time and not have to worry about upkeep? How freeing.  But we talk ourselves out of these things because it's not "normal".  It might not be "convenient".  People might think we've lost our marbles.  

When Chuck passed, any fear I had about not following my heart or responding to what calls to my soul left.  I realized the more we confine to what is "normal" the more we box ourselves in and the unhappier we become.  Sometimes it takes years before we realize this.  I was fully ready to begin anew.  

I was no longer scared.  
I felt no need to fit any mold.  
I will only listen to my heart of hearts from here on out.  

* * * * * *

There are two quotes by Steve Jobs that pretty much sum it up for me right now...

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary."

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.  You are already naked.  There is no reason not to follow your heart."

* * * * * *

Thank you to my dear friend Tyrel Knight for shaving my head and suggesting a photo shoot right after.  These are my favorite kind of shoots.  Truly capturing a moment.  Something meaningful.  



  1. That is such a good story. Thanks for sharing!

  2. TriumphPunk - a Nu you - Welcome the nature of your readiness!! and honor the defining moments of your life! Nice! <3

  3. Couldn't be more proud of you !!!

  4. Deena, you look so pure and clean and beautiful!!
    It must have been a cathartic experience!
    One of the things I love about you is, you have strong true emotions and you´re living them!!!

  5. Hello,Deena.
    Any change you want, will always feel right for you.You will be happy.You will feel empowered, because YOU decided YOU wanted to step outside the box,and experiment.
    I will reverse engineer shaved heads,for more human utilization.

  6. You continue to amaze me daily! Love you lot's!!