Jul 17, 2010

Be a lover, not a fighter!

Just a friendly reminder...

From myself & many others who have chosen to put ourselves super *out there*. On the internet, or wherever it may be.
One of my favorite mottos is NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR ART. This should, I hope, be every artists (in any capacity) motto. Art is subjective. Everything is relative.

I have said it before and I'll say it again. If you don't like something? Don't watch. There are plenty of things I've come across I don't find funny or entertaining and do I take TIME from my day to tell the creator that I didn't like it? No. I am fully aware this is all part of the deal, but I'll always find it strange. What's the point? What good does it do you or me to waste time on negative energy? I try so hard not to give into negativity of any kind. Sometimes I slip, we're all only human, but I do try.

Just because we are out there as a social media personality or performer of some kind, viewers do not think of us as real people. We are just there for their entertainment. To please them or not. Often, what is forgotten is that everyone is a real person with real feelings. Families and friends and sensitivities and good days and bad days. We get feelings hurt. We get vulnerable.

I've had run ins with people (usually grown men - which can be scary on its own to say the least) online and had to block and delete many times. When I feel it really crosses the boundaries is on facebook. Youtube is one thing. Youtube is worldwide. Gigantic. A vehicle of it's own I can't possibly control. It's not personal. My facebook, however, is. My family and friends and loved ones and real life contacts are there. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care when someone that I don't know well, or at all, takes the TIME to post something negative.

Come on. Let me have my little bit of internet space where I feel like it's still MINE. Still somewhat personal. I decided a long time ago, anything that may strike me as offensive, or I don't want my family and friends to see and get riled up about, I delete them from my friends. I don't know you, you don't know me. We owe each other nothing, and it's JUST FACEBOOK! Who cares if we can't be facebook friends? It doesn't mean I hate you, wish ill on you, it's "this is my space, I feel uncomfortable, I don't want to risk you doing it again and me waking up to negativity (you don't know what's going on in my life & maybe that was the last thing I needed that day), so I'd like to delete you." I have every right to do it.

People get sooooo bent out of shape and even post physically threatening status updates about me. That is a threat. I take that VERY SERIOUSLY. Grown men (maybe they're creepers and maybe they're not. Again, we DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER. So think about how you are coming across). You have a woman in your life in some form or another, daughter, sister, mother, niece, friend, etc how would you feel if she were threatened? It's Scary. Hurtful. You get the drift. I often won't write back, just delete. A couple of times I've reached out to try to explain myself in a message. This has proved itself to once again, not be worth it. Things get to crazy and even more uncomfortable for me.

So strange.

I guess I just want everyone watching to remember I'm a person with feelings and a life full of all kinds of things and people...just like you.

Think twice about that, please. About any entertainer out there.
You never truly know them. You never know the full story.
You never know why they are running their internet life the way they are. But there are big reasons.

Never do these people realize maybe I just plain don't want the drama. They comment negatively, the may get the onslaught of fans and friends who feel the need to insult them, stick up for me, and it becomes huge.

This is exactly why I don't let 99.9% of my real self out there onto the web, and why I don't let people in quickly.
This is also why, I suppose, people think I'm yelling at them in my message when I'm just trying to be as business like and calm as I can be.

I appreciate all the support!

That's it! :)



  1. Deena - love you, the end.

    :) Heidi

  2. It seems people love to see successful folks crumble. They throw their monstrosity at you in order to bring you down, to make you like them. They are cowards and fools.

    You, my dear, are a hurricane of talent and beauty (inside AND out) and self-created success. Chin up. More people love you and want you to soar than fall.

    "Great spirits have always endured violent oppression from mediocre minds." A. Einstein