Burn

The other night I dreamt my childhood home burned to the ground. I stood on top of the rubble, with other members of my family. I looked to each of them for a place to live, to be taken in. There was no one for me to stay with. Although in reality this home was sold shortly after I'd moved to New York, in my dream all of my belongings had still been in the house, and now they were gone. Everything I'd owned had burned, but I wasn't phased. In fact, I felt a relief. I could start fresh. I needed, and was attached to, nothing. Yet there was a realization of how special the walls of that home had been. What they had held was scared, and now it was gone...as if it had never stood there in the first place.

I've often documented my dreams, and the visions that have come to me in the in-between here. Some I understand the meaning of right away, and seem almost more real than reality.

This one makes sense. I've been in a state of emotional purging recently. A lot of gunk has built up inside me over the last few years. Trapped in me, I've been living with the sickness of it. PTSD, and anxiety. Physical manifestations that breathe down my neck daily, and dull my sparkle. Only recently has it started to pour out, mostly in the form of tears. This is unusual for me, to have bouts of crying. Sometimes full-on sobs. I have been in fight-or-flight for so long. I've had to hold off on letting it out due to the battles I've had to fight, raising my son, and simply not having the time. But lately it's leaking out, ready or not.

This isn't a bad thing. The webs are untangling inside from around my brain, and heart. The water from my tears is cleansing. "Make space. Clear the way." It whispers..

I have had a sense that a new page is just about to turn. The next chapter is so close. New players will enter, a new stage is set, and life begins, anew. I see white light where I once saw no color at all. I feel warmth right around the corner, coming to me from the opposite direction.

I have only felt on the verge like this one other time. I searched through my old posts until I found it, and wouldn't you know it, the date was February 2013 (here). Exactly one month before absolutely everything about my life changed in a million ways I never could have seen coming.

Is there a shedding of the skin every six or so years? I laugh to myself, remembering that every seven or so we literally become new people, as every cell in our body replaces itself with a new one.

Of course. 

I hope I'm right about this precipice. I have no reason to doubt. Everything I once had burned to the ground. I need nothing other than walls to house a sacred space, where that ends up is TBD.

But I stand calmly on the rubble.
A clean slate.
I don't feel loss.
I am not empty.
There is a hint of spring in the breeze.

I wait...

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.
.

April first.

Taking control of your healing.
Protecting your energy.
Nurturing your happiness in the face of whatever life is throwing your way.
That.

I was made to feel I wasn't entitled to my own happiness. 
I began to understand.
I would no longer cast my pearls before shells, rather than souls.

My world expands.
I've been given back to myself.

Spring strengthens me.

Many attempts have been made to clip my wings.
I refuse. 
Nobody gets to take them from me.

Hear me loud and clear when I roar the following...


My story will have a different ending. And that's okay. 


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Spring basics 3 ways!

Happy May! It's finally feeling like Spring!

I partnered up with a local boutique I love, My Sisters Closet, to show off 2 basic items and how they can each be worn three different ways. My goal was to show you how versatile a simple piece is, as well as how inexpensively you really can build your wardrobe. Hope you like the looks and they give you some spring inspiration! Each piece comes in a variety of colors and sizes, so be sure and take a look. Great gift ideas for Mother's Day, too!


Below you'll see
Fresh knit cardigan in mustard
Favorite basic tee in black


Happy shopping!

It's a challenge for me not to buy all black, all the time. I found that this bright mustard was much more versatile than I thought! I went for three varying degrees of casual. Jeans, a dress, and shorts, all completely easy to style.  

So as I said above, black is a staple and I'm always looking for a great black tee. I love this one! The material is so soft. I ordered a size M so it would be a little longer and extra cozy! Perfect for a casual look with cotton bell bottoms, a workout or running errands, and dressed up for night! 

Thanks for reading! 

DM

Sun pierced

When the sun peeks through and lasts the day
When it's finally too warm for my mittens
And I feel the slightest bit of sweat under my coat on the back of my neck
It begins to feel as though spring really will come,
And I will once again believe even though
I forget the miracle each and every year

Two oppositions being to stir in me.
I feel both claustrophobia, trapped by my physicality and yet
I remember I am limitless

I long to shapeshift, to leave my human form

In spring I can reset myself
My youth encompasses me
And I am freed

When you are meant to be everyone
and do everything,

nothing is ever enough