Nov 19, 2013

Unsettled soul at rest...

I've never been at such a loss for words.  I have tried several times now to sit down and begin to write all that is in my heart.  Filling it up to the brim so that it feels it will burst.  To release what's swirling around so intensely in my soul.  To put language to the newfound happiness that is so strong, it is nearly distracting to me.

I have tried, I have failed.  I do not know these words.

I've never felt so much, so strongly.
These feelings are so new I must still be catching up.

How do I begin to tell you what is? How do I translate this?

I will try.  I will still fail.

I found the other.  Part.  Half.  Soul.  Soul mate.  That belongs with me.  There is only one, and it cannot be denied.  It is nothing like any before.  Or any could be.  Nothing else could be.  Nothing.  It is palpable.  It is nearly visible.  It is a full completion of what wasn't before.  I've never been so internally...right.

I've never had my searching, my yearning, my unsettled soul feel rest like this.

I've never felt that I'm home like this.  I no longer desire to be away.  I think of him first.  The way it should be is now automatically there.  I never knew what I was missing before, only that something was.  He reveals to me only what is essential.  I see clearly the facades of who we think we are, what we do, versus our sweet reality.  I now know the meaning of being grounded.  I see the value.  All that's there is easy.  It would be no other way.  No confusion.  No wondering or questioning of what I could want, what will be.  It's everything.  It's all.  Because it's him.  Because it's me with him.  For the first time in my life, I long for nothing.  I lack for nothing.  I understand what it is to feel strengthened by a love.  So strong.  It should be no other way.

I can't go on in my own words…

* * * * * * * * * *

Earlier this year I found my favorite words.  Ever.  I sent it to him.  I did not post it anywhere.  It was so beautiful it hurt.  I still can't read it without a wave of emotion, and tears rushing up to my eyes.  It is the most stunning thing I've ever read.  I don't know where it's from, I've searched and keep coming up empty.  I wasn't ready to share it yet, but I knew I would eventually.  This.  This is it.  Let this tell you better than I can...


Thanks for reading,

Deena Marie

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