May 27, 2011

Waiting for it

Lately I've been wondering if "perfect timing" exists. And by lately I mean the last couple of years. So many of us are waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment.

Of course some time frames become more ideal than others, but could we put off doing something we want or need to do forever because the "perfect time" never comes? What if the waiting goes on too long and then our chance is gone? How do you ever know when the moment is truly right?

Below is an interesting article I came across on the subject from called "Perfect Timing Doesn't Exist. Stop Waiting For It" by Shaun Boyd.

It bothers me when I hear people describe a personal set of conditions that need to be met before they can make the next move in their life. Most often, they’re just making excuses — creating obstacles that aren’t actually there, placing the blame on some outside force they can’t control, and choosing to let day after day of inaction turn into many years of waiting for their cosmos to align. In other words, they stay where they’re comfortable until it’s the perfect time to move on.

“Once I find a better job, then I’ll leave this one.”
“Once I save enough money, then I’ll stop living at my parents’ place.”
“Once I’m out of this stressful period of my life, then I’ll quit smoking.”

What’s even worse are the people who connect their obstacles in a way that makes their current situation circular, like a trap they will never escape:

“I can’t pursue my dream career unless I leave my job, but I can’t pay the bills unless I stay at my job.”

Then there’s also the people who have a thousand complaints about their life. They typically don’t even explain any connections between their obstacles, they just rant about anything that’s causing them stress, but do nothing to correct any of it. They’re so overwhelmed they don’t even know where to begin, and their easiest option is to give up.

If any of this sounds familiar, then my advice to you is this:

Stop waiting for that “perfect time” to make your next move. Perfect timing doesn’t exist. It’s fictional. You’ll wait forever for it. There will never be a perfect time to leave your job, move out of state, and start from scratch. Similarly, there will never be a perfect time to get married, have a baby, or have another baby. That’s because no matter when you make these choices, they will involve risk — and it’s the risk involved that makes choices like these easier to put off until another day.

What you often fail to realize is you’re not just waiting, you’re stagnating. You stop growing, hinder your advancement, and basically become dull as a result of your choice to keep life on pause.

If your current job is holding you back, then you should quit.

Seriously. You can quit your dead-end job today. Just walk straight up to your boss and say “I quit.” Leave and don’t come back. The place won’t crumble without you. They’ll find a replacement and be just fine.

Then hop in your car and drive across the country just to see that you can. Just for fun. Just to help you remember that you have a choice.

No car? Hitchhike.

Not your thing? Walk.

I’m sure you see my point: You have more freedom than you realize.

So if you want to create change in your life, then stop waiting. Let go of perfection and act. Once you have, you’ll only regret you didn’t start doing it sooner.

* * * * * * * * * *

The most powerful part to me: You have more freedom than you realize.
A few blogs back I told you I'd come to believe through personal experiences and recognizing the synchronicity around me the last couple of months, I do not believe in accidents. I know that at any given moment I'm on the path meant for me, that I need to accept and allow everything I do and experience as part of my journey. But my question is, when do I just do it already? I know that whenever it is, it's when it was supposed to happen. I just get confused with how to juggle all that I want and plan to do. I know that saying yes to every opportunity that comes my way keeps me on my professional career path, but when do I take a pause for more? For my pilgrimage, for philosophy, math, anthropology, writing (and who knows what else) courses I'd like to take, for family. I book myself so far in advance, right now I have things lined up through May of 2012! I see that I could put off the things unrelated to my career when I stop saying yes to everything and stop pursuing everything career-wise and take action. But of course I worry. I worry about a time out. Who wouldn't? It's always hard to shake it up, but I know that I like to shake it up. The older I get the more I want to know. Performing is wonderful, but I long for more. I want to learn more, I want to be and do so many other things in addition. How do I fit in my six week long pilgrimage in this kind of a schedule? How do I fit in courses that will go over a couple of months? When do I consider, gulp, family? Do I wait until one desire outweighs them all? Or do I just go for it, impulsively and know the rest will fall into place? I'm surprised at myself, but I find I am having a bit of trouble making that leap. Perhaps I am (and I hate to say or even think this) somewhat stagnant? I am "safe" in my in between. In my knowing I want and need so many things besides career, impatient that I have to wait, even. But also safe from having to test new waters and veer of the path. It was always the one and only path I ever saw and ever identified with. Then I started growing up and realizing that things never end up working out exactly as you saw, and you will surprise yourself at every turn. As it turns out, I didn't grow up to be an actress only. I grew up to have an insatiable curiosity about the world. It only intensifies with time. I've learned to accept that more. To know what my true self wants and needs and not worry about what any one else may think. I've also learned that life is long. What I used to consider "old" is only the beginning and humans are amazing, the way we can surprise ourselves at every turn.

“You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions.”
Gary Ryan Blair quotes

“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.”
Stacey Charter quotes

1 comment:

  1. I love this Deena! This is so inspirational! Makes me think....