May 2, 2011

My "Sex and the City" do over

My sweetheart and I decided to watch "Sex and the City" over again. Yup, the entire series from episode one. When it was on tv years ago, I came into it a little late and missed some toward the end, so I wanted to see what I'd missed and remember how it all unfolded (turns out I've actually seen more than I thought).

Right now we're halfway through season 3. What I'm most surprised about is how my thoughts on the characters have changed completely nearly 10 years later. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, a decade of life experience and growing up will do that to you, but still.

There should be an anthropological study on this series, it's impact on women then vs now. It's totally different.

First of all, I like Big! A lot! Through season 1 & 2 it was Carrie that I wanted to smack this time around, tell her to chill out and stop creating something out of nothing. He put up with a lot of drama from her. She should be so lucky. She had her dream guy, she just needed a little patience.

He was about to take her on a vacation and she breaks up with him because he isn't saying I love you? That's hardly giving things a chance. It would have done her good to go with him and get out of NYC for a minute and spend that different kind of time together. Then the whole stalking him and his mom at church? Ladies, this behavior is why guys say "women are crazy" . Then came Paris. Sure he dropped that bomb on her in a nonchalant way, and yes, that's like a punch in the stomach to most women. But they could have learned how to communicate with time. Or at least tried to learn. Instead, she flew off the handle again and broke up with him. I didn't remember that she was the one who kept ending it. And so quickly. They never talked through it, it was just over. If they'd talked Paris over, she might have stuck it out and stayed with him. But instead, he was free to meet Natasha.

And then there's Steve. I love Steve. Steve is the sweetest most patient man Miranda could ever hope for. He puts up with a lot of shit from her. Why would he do that? I want to shake her. "Be nice to Steve!"

It's funny. This was such a hit. I loved it then. I love it now. I can't wait to finish the next half. Why? When you take a minute to look at each individual character, they really aren't all that likable. Watching them as a group is fun, I suppose, because it's so not real.

When I watched the first time around I was living in NYC. I wanted to relate. I compared myself and then boyfriend to Carrie & Big, what girl didn't? I wanted to have my Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, what girl didn't? But the truth is, the series is a total fantasy. It's the grown up version of a CW show. As in they're all in high school but nobody is ever seen in school, these women are rarely seen at work, instead it's all about everything else. I mean when are they working? With all of their high profile careers, especially Miranda, Samantha & Charlotte aren't they ever too tired to go out on the town? Aren't they too busy to see their girlfriends all the time?

It's a guilty pleasure much more than it's a "my friends and I are just like that!"

I didn't expect to be on the guys' side this time. To me, they're the likable characters. Maybe it also happened from all I learned in the last decade of my life and thinking a little more like a "man", whatever that means.

I do see ladies analyze like crazy and put up with nonsense (I did it too, once upon a time). Yes ladies may be "crazy" and guys might be "mean", but I learned over time that it's really just not all that complicated.

No, really. "He's just not that into you". It's that simple. If a guy wants to call you, he'll call. If he wants to date you, he'll date you. If he wants to marry you, he'll marry you. If we don't want to accept a date, we can say no. If we aren't feeling it, we can break up too. And that's all there is too it. You cant (unfortunately) make someone attracted to you when they're not. You cant force someone to be sure about you if they're not sure about you.

There is something to be said for trying to be patient and wanting to try to make it work. We often don't let go because there is a history, or time involved, and we can't imagine throwing it away.

But. It's important to learn the difference between when to be patient (like I think Carrie should have) and when you truly are waiting for something that's never going to happen.

Sigh. I will say this...watching "Sex and the City" now is like hearing a song, or smelling a smell that takes you back. Back to a past life. This particular past life is associated with my early 2000's life. It's like sense memory. I won't lie, it makes me nostalgic as all hell and yes, I've teared up a few times. What can I say, chicks will be chicks and if we're moved by the series, in whatever way...well it's done it's job. A helluva job.

That's it for now. Can't wait to watch the rest!

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