Thumbs Up
I want to share with you a small moment in my family’s life,
that made a huge impact! Maybe I should say a moment between my daughter and my
brother. My handsome, humorous,
brother Chuck, left us last May. So here we are at almost a year, still
contending with shooting pains in our hearts.
What a unique guy my brother was, and I mean that in a most
loving way. Chuck was the
prankster of the family, how he came up with some of the jokes he pulled on us
is still a mystery. We were his
personal guinea pigs! This teasing also extended to his nieces and nephews.
I’ve told Deena she takes after her uncle Chuck that
way. The have the same humor, and
they shared an invisible, mighty bond.
Chuck was so proud of Deena, from the day she was born,
until his last minutes on this earth.
As I ride that hideous roller coaster of sadness, certain
memories linger. One of my
favorites happened while he was in the hospital for the last time.
Chuck was rushed by ambulance to the emergency on May 10th, 2012. He would be in the hospital for the next two weeks, all but one of those days in the ICU. There the medical staff hovered over him and did their difficult jobs, and there were many.
Chuck was rushed by ambulance to the emergency on May 10th, 2012. He would be in the hospital for the next two weeks, all but one of those days in the ICU. There the medical staff hovered over him and did their difficult jobs, and there were many.
Now my Chuck, this bigger than life guy, was on the brink of
death. He lay in his hospital bed,
intubated and unconscious. He was
our sleeping giant. This was a
hard part for my family, we hugged and cried and dealt with our crumbling
hearts.
I existed in my stupor, wearing boots made of lead, seeing through gray lenses, and carrying an internal ball of fear.
That was how I functioned last May.
Around the fourth or fifth day, the doctors decided it was time to wean him off his medications. This would help determine how sick he really was. This is the time the silent worry began, if he did wake up, would he be our same Chuck? Had he been oxygen deprived?
The nurses encouraged us to talk to Chuck and touch him
during this time. He began to turn
his head toward the sounds of voices.
Or any loud noise. He
became restless, letting a leg hang off his bed. But we needed more! Please Chuck, just open your eyes!
Please give us a sign!
This process lasted maybe two days, it felt like years.
Deena was on her way to the hospital when I suddenly had
this feeling or premonition. There
was going to be a connection between Deena and Chuck! I JUST KNEW! Deena knew
it too, she felt it as she walked down the hospital corridor.
Deena walked into the room, stood at the foot of his bed,
and said, “Hi Chuck”. He raised
his arm in the air and gave a big Thumbs Up! Oh my god! Did he just give us our
sign?! He had reacted to her after all! I KNEW IT! That darn thumb caused so
much emotion and elation at the same time!
Deena and Chuck were truly connected!
My mom burst out crying, which caused a slight domino
effect. But they were tears of
joy!
Later mom would say it reminded her of a fairy tale, when
the Prince awakens the Princess.
In our case, it was the niece, that woke her uncle!
I can only tell you, that in my minds eye, I relive this
miracle moment, over and over.
And so, to my daughter and big brother, I give you both, a
Thumbs Up!
- Lauren Manzanares
April, 2013
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