Disillusioned

Disillusioned: Disappointed, Dissatisfied.  Disappointed in someone or something that one discovers to be less good than one had believed.  

You know how you hear people (yes, mostly ladies) say that romantic movies have disillusioned them when it comes to finding love? That it sets them up with unrealistic expectations? That they want a sweeping romance with their Edward? But nobody measures up? 

I have never been bothered by this.  I can enjoy watching / reading a tale of great romance for what it is.  I know truly good men (and women) do exist.  I guess I have been lucky in the love department.  So what I have struggled with and yes, been disillusioned by, are movies (or a tv show) about great friendship.  

Specifically female friendship.  I've had good friends come in and out of my life.  Some have stayed longer than others.  Some have been there for over a decade.  But I have never, in my adult life experienced anything remotely close to a bond like the "Sex & the City" four.  All the extravagance and sex aside, let's talk about the commitment.  Those ladies can balance! They have careers, relationships, eventually children and yet always seem to be able to make time for each other.  They are there for each other, they drop what they're doing when one needs some support.  Their friendships are clearly important, a priority.  

What loyalty! What adult woman is like that? I mean, remember in the movie on New Years Eve when Carrie jumps out of bed and rushes to Miranda's side? Ughhh.  I love this show.  I've seen every episode multiple times over the years.  I've even brought this up in a blog long ago.

I guess as I get older I am more accepting that I will never have this.  The problem is, I've always longed for this.  I've never been able to figure out why I'm not successful? I have the romantic relationship, so am I denied this kind of a friendship with the ladies? Is it too much to ask for both? Is it me? Do I try too hard? Am I just awkward in female friendships (good male friendships come so easy)? Am I doing it wrong? Am I attracted to the wrong types? Ha ha.

Or does this kind of a friendship only exist on screen?  

But seriously.  Sigh.  I guess this is my "Twilight".  

My fantasy that I just don't think will ever happen for me.  My Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte will never rush in and sweep me off my feet, showering me with support and love and cocktails and nights out on the town.

Sigh.  

Have I been disillusioned? Do you experience this kind of a friendship(s)? 

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