A Fresh Start

Happy new year, filthy animals! Went out to dinner last night and then hosted a party.  There are glasses and party favors all over my bar.  I adore the people I was with.  Will post some pictures of everyone later.  For now, here are a few of me getting ready. I really like that outfit.  Especially the shoes! I've had a problem since high school...it's called buying WAY too much black! 

Here's something you might be surprised to learn about me...

The always positive upbeat girl you see on youtube is not how I am in real life.  Well, not ALL the time.  Shocked? ;) Truth be told, I can be very high strung, stressed out, impatient, easily frustrated, etc. I'm a perfectionist. I demand SO much from myself.  Stakes are SO high when I'm doing something I love.  I want it to be the best and I put a ridiculous ammount of pressure on myself.  So as 2009 begins I'm taking with me a new way of thinking.  I'm determined to try my best to live in the MOMENT.  To make an effort to let things roll off, to be confident at all times and never second guess.  I found a quote the other day that struck me as not only incredibly profound, but something I'll be taking into '09 with as my own personal motto:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Out deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, wyo are you not to be? You are a child of God; your playing small doesn't serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Nelson Mandela

Isn't it BEAUTIFUL? For so long, I was in the mindset and the habit of always being 'humble'.  To downplay compliments and success...and while I would still take humble over arrogant any day, the quote above made me remember to stop and ENJOY achievements. Wouldn't us artists types enjoy life a bit more if we live by those words? I'm learning how important it is to savor each success.  Time goes so fast. We only have this moment right now.  I am working hard for what I want and I have a lot to be proud of.  2008 was one of the BEST. YEARS. OF. MY. LIFE.  I just want to capture a few of the highlights in writing...

Leading roles in TWO regional premieres of new plays.  A "Best of Utah" award in Media/Politics in City Weekly Magazine.  A "Best of the Beehive" award for *The Comedienne* in Salt Lake Magazine.  A cover and two page story on me and my career in "The Salt Lake Tribune".  Full page article and later a cover in "IN" magazine.  Multiple write ups in the above mentioned as well as blogs like marysteenscene.com, kutv.com (gavins underground) and planethiltron.com.  Named one of the hottest women on the web on G4TV's "Attack of the Show".  Another big Jared Gold runway show. Audience favorite at the 48 hour film festival.  Performances with the Voodoo Darlings.  Amazing photo shoots.  Going through my first ever surgery & starting to conquer my fear of needles.  And to wrap it all up, one amazing little trip to LA which, if all goes well could potentially change my life.  

It truly was a golden year.  I just wanted to see the list, imortalize it here.  I eat sleep and breath my art, be it acting, singing, dancing, video making, modeling...my mind never shuts off.  I'm constantly thinking of what I can do, what I can do next, how to promote it.  I decided it was high time to start up a blog where you can all get to know me a bit more personally.  This coming from a VERY private person...who wears her heart on her sleeve more than she'd like to admit.  I think we all have a lot to teach each other.  I plan to post every day...so keep coming back!

I have the highest hopes for 2009.

Much love 

xoxo

Deena Marie Manzanares