Awaken

Once upon a time...

...there was a girl who, for more than two and a half years, kept her heart under lock and key. With high built walls, and a certainty she was irreparably broken.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't connect. She felt out-of-body, without access to her own heart.

Wrong pieces of the puzzle, every time. She resigned herself to the fact a part of her had closed, and no matter who knocked, it was impossible to answer.

But then.

Something unexplainable happened. Something clicked. Switched. She was comfortable. She was vulnerable. She felt. And it was all okay. She fell in sync with him, with ease. And she began to awaken.

Like Sleeping Beauty after the kiss, 
like the earth after the rain, 
she reignited. 

She could feel her heart again, and her heart could feel.
Natural. Equal. It simply...was.

Re-inspired. As a woman, as an artist. Given fresh eyes in which to see her city, her life, and her current path. Laid out before her like riches, she goes forward.

Open, and able to feel, once again.

No matter where the path leads, she is grateful to him, for his gift to her.

As it turns out, magic is very, very real.

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Expansion, and being bound

I am looking at the moon, and thinking both of expansion, and being bound.

I forget. I so often forget that I am a Russian nesting doll, with so many lifetimes inside of me. I've lived in other cities, I've had a big life. Teardrops are here, and on the streets of New York.

How do you ever properly close a chapter? This one has been long. The one where I am a single mom. I've been a single mom, on my own for so long now, I can't imagine what it wouldn't be like.

This is the one where I own my own my own little condo. The space that I call home for myself, and my boy. This little space of the world. This tiny square of earth...how can it feel so small, and so vast?

I think of when I was in elementary, and I was so aware of the weight of my being and the space I took up. If I stood in the corner of my room, that is all I would occupy in the world. But I felt so much bigger than what I realized I was restricted to.

I think of how ancient I was, when I was new. I think of my boy, and wonder how he experiences his being, and wonder if he is aware of his vastness or his restriction.

I am many lives packed neatly into one, wondering how you ever say goodby, or move forward, propelled into the unknown again and again...

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