What I've learned this year...

To not make resolutions. At least not this year.

Too much pressure to change your life on one day of the year.

Resolutions can be made/kept/broken/changed/etc. any time, any day.

I'm stronger than I think. Physically, mentally & emotionally.

I'm more fragile than I think. Physically.

Just a human with one body. Be good to yourself with every passing year.

To not have to plan every detail and know what's going to happen right this second.

Let the wind take me where it may. It's full of surprises and I feel I'm on the right path.

Nothing is ever as it seems.

Be prepared to do a 180 on many things you may have grown up believing.

It's ok to grow and learn and change your mind.

I'm fine the way I am. Beautiful too. So are you, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion -Democritus

We are small. We are all Narcissists and the world is much bigger than us.

We can't even begin to comprehend.

I don't have all the answers. I know so little. I want to know more.

In this life I was meant to be an entertainer.

Science is where it's truly at. Stay in school and learn your mathematics! Please!

I want to come back as a metaphysicist and really make a difference.

We don't know what, if anything exists after death.

I'm of a much more postmodern mind than I ever thought I'd be.

I don't know how I feel about that.

I used to believe in everything until it was proven to be untrue.

I'm not sure I like my skeptical side.

It's okay to be youthful. No reason to stifle who you are and what makes you happy.

If you're doing what your entire being is telling you is right, you'll never be wrong.

The answer is always no if you don't ask.

Be brave. Be bold. Be the one you dream to be.

Stand up for yourself. Be assertive.

Never apologize for your art.

If you always look confident and in control and act like you love what you're doing

even when you don't, you'll never look foolish. If it's outside your comfort zone, commit to it.

People will always give you their opinion even when you don't ask for it.

No need to argue. Let it in one ear and out the other.

Humans can and do mate for life. It's just a matter of finding your true person.

Get as much out of life as humanely possible.

Our time here is very, very short.

Happy New Year!

Deena Marie

A blue dog no more...

How cool is this! Ha ha! The above pic (click for bigger image) is from a review of "Go Dog Go" on a site I'd never come across before called Volition Magazine here is the link to the full article : http://volitionmag.com/2009/12/10/salt-lake-acting-companys-go-dog-go/

I've been going on & on about how this show and role were among my favorites, particularly the scene where the dogs are at work. We each had different tools and I started out with two small hammers. As the dogs get tired and things slow down, I leave the stage and enter with a giant jackhammer (all props were one dimensional and made of wood, very bright and cartoon like) that "bounces" me and the others all around the stage. It's something you'd just have to have seen but I think I'll miss it most of all! :)

Anyway, a huge thanks to Voilition for the mention of what was my favorite part. It's always a great feeling that someone else has noticed your work!

Show was a success, sold out nights, turning people away and having to add an extra show.

There is a possibility that SLAC will bring it back next year. I would love love love that!

So for now, Blue Dog is no more. Sad to say goodbye but I'm already busy with catching up on my video making, photo shoots and another news appearance!

Tomorrow morning I'll be back on the KUTV2 morning show! Maybe you'll see Jan? ;)

Two new videos are now uploaded on my 2 channels

youtube.com/BeanerLaRue

youtube.com/MissDeenaMarie

"Snookie from Jersey Shore: get the look"

"I Time Traveled to the 1920's"

Happy New Year!

xo Deena Marie

Strep

Merry Christmas to me, Sant brought me strep.

I'd just gotten over a bad cold last week and thought I was in the clear. Then sunday night all of a sudden I felt my tonsils getting swollen, throat started hurting, had the worst headache ever and feeling really hot. It literally came on in an instant. I tried to ignore it and tell myself it would be gone in the morning. But it wasn't.

Monday I just got worse and worse. I'm like a dude. I never ever want to go to the doctor. So you can imagine how I must have felt by the time my sweetheart got home from work and I said we should probably go. I was getting worried. I was so zapped of energy I was in tears. It was all I could do to get up and get in the car. I thought I better find out what was going on in case I spread it to my cast. Strep test came back positive and they gave me antibiotics. I woke up tuesday a little bit stronger and the aches, chills and hot feeling had gone...but I was still not myself. Still so drained. It was the difference between eating soup in bed, and going down to the kitchen to eat some and then back to bed.

It was so bad that I wasn't able to perform! It was a two show day! I can't tell you how hard that was. I could not stand it that the show was going on without me. Could. Not. Stand. It. It was devastating. I never expected this would ever happen, I've done shows sick and powered through. I never knew it would be this heartbreaking. I am so sad it's unreal. I think I've cried more in the last few days then I have all year.

When I'm performing in a show, it's everything to me. It takes up my energy, focus, life...I give 110% every time. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. The theatre, my cast, the paying audiences. I was determined to perform our two shows today. I woke up, did my makeup and hair and when I was done was so wiped out that I was once again, in tears. This is one of the hardest things I've gone through in a long time. I hate being in bed, I hate wasting time, I hate that I have no control over anything right now. I feel so terrible.

This blows. :(

Year end review!

Me & Noodles

Since it's almost time to say goodbye to 2009... let's take a minute to reflect on all the badass things that happened this year.

I'm not writing this blog for purely narcissistic reasons but because it's important to celebrate your successes! Especially for me, always in a state of wanting more and wondering what I can make happen next.

1.) Ford Fiesta Movement

I was one of 100 agents (over 4K applied) to drive the 2011 version of the fiesta for 6 months and complete monthly online missions. Lots of perks, lots of fun!

2.) NYC

7/8/9/ Youtube Gathering. Got to meet lots of youtubers in the flesh. Made true friends (extra special shoutout to John Raymond Barker of youtube.com/JerbyVids who I LOVE) and got to visit my old stomping grounds. Saw "Next to Normal" and "Hair".

3.) LA

Went to CA end of August for the premiere of Ester Bryms documentary on youtubers, "Butterflies". Got to make new friends and visit long lost ones. While I was there I was also one of six models to walk the runway for designer Jared Gold in his fierce collaboration with artist Joshua Petker in Gold vs. Petker at Social Hollywood.

4.) Pinups for Pups

I got to host Salt Lake Citys first ever Pinups for Pups event at club Bliss!

5.) Infantry Monologues

Got to play soldier Olivia Valorossa in "Infantry Monologues". Delivered a 40 page dramatic monologue and loved every minute of every performance.

6.) Runway

Celebrity model for "IN" Magazine's first ever "Fashion Night Out". Walked the runway at The Depot for Vintage Fox, Lolabella/JMR and Urban Outfitters.

7.) Countless photo shoots!

Thanks to the following brilliant photographers: Lauren Manzanares, Todd Collins, DC Snaps, Sunny Simkins, Lily Katherine, Vanessa Cheney, Oscar Veloz and Mike Kamanski!

8.) Pride Day

Got to play the Jack & Coke Lady and hang out with the "IN" Magazine booth. What a blast!

9.) Burlesque

Some of the most fun performing with the Voodoo Darlings ever was our two days of Pride performances and a benefit at Club Jam.

10.) Press

MTV's "It's on with Alexa Chung" showed a clip of "Twilight High School Musical"! Thanks to City Weekly, IN Magazine, SLTrib, Deseret News, Volition Magazine, Gavins Underground and many more online blogs who featured me this year. Including covers!

11.) City Weekly

For being so damn good to me and having me do a weekly video for cityweekly.net

12.) KUTV2

Getting to play Honey Bee 11/20 for the "New Moon" opening and interview 'Edward & Jacob'. Playing 'Sarah Palin' 12/09 and one more appearance as Lola and as myself promoting "Go Dog Go" at Salt Lake Acting Company. The morning news team has been more than amazing to me.

13.) Scene Maker

Performing at "IN" Mag's first Scene Maker Party, on my birthday 3/27 at Club Vegas

14.) Noodles

Lucky to have the worlds best and most beautiful pup.

15.) My sweetheart

I swear I love him more each day and am in constant awe that there was a person out there who would be so perfect for me.

16.) Ouch

Getting through a second surgery :)

17.) 1st Place

I won the Pinup Parking Lot pinup contest!

18.) TV

This one is bittersweet. You remember. VH1. "Scream Queens"

While I was a little (okay a lot) heartbroken...getting so close just makes me realize my time is coming. It IS just around the corner.

19.) Blue Dog

I'm having the time of my life in "Go Dog Go" as the Blue Dog at one of my favorite theatres, Salt Lake Acting Company

20.) New Projects

I'm so lucky and excited to begin working on new projects in 2010!

Playing Sor Juana Inez de la Cruz in the world premiere of "Amerigo", appearing in Banned / Slammed. Youtube collaborations with people you know and love and will be surprised to see.

And of course, YOUTUBE! A successful follow up to "Twilight High School Musical", we shot "New Moon: The Musical" and made it even bigger and better! A shoutout from Michael Buckley aka youtube.com/Whatthebuckshow jumped me up in subscribers an extra 10k. What a selfless and kind thing for him to do!

So much more happened this year but this is all that's coming to me right now...if I've forgotten you it's NOT on purpose!

I want so much in this next year. So much to do so little time. I'm hopeful. There are some new directions I'm thinking of taking. Some new interests and priorities that have surprised me most of all. We'll see how things unfold next...

xoxo

Deena Marie

Want MORE Jack & Coke Lady?

Great news, you beautiful bitches!

You're about to get a whole lot MORE of the Jack & Coke Lady!

As you know, http://www.youtube.com/BeanerLaRue is where she originated and will remain. Expect to see two collabs early in the new year... one with youtube celebrities you know and love and one with a local celebrity you'd never expect. Prepare to have your mind blown!

If you don't know, there is a local weekly paper called City Weekly here in town and I make a video each week for their website http://www.cityweekly.net The videos live at http://www.youtube.com/DeenaDoesCityWeekly so if you've come across that channel on youtube and been confused by what it is or what the videos are (they're pretty Utah specific) that's what it is!

Anyway! I've decided to put up a Jack & Coke lady video on the city weekly site monthly! Yup, that's right! This means there's about a 99.9% chance she will answer YOUR question!

Here's the big thing... remember your question has to be one ASKING ADVICE! Advice on anything but if you write it to say "Jack & Coke Lady, what's your favorite color?" etc. Those obviously can't be used. The point is an advice column, not ask the J&C Lady something about herself. It doesn't matter if you need real advice, if you ask on behalf of a friend or make up something crazy. The J&C Lady can't exist without you!

***LOCAL PEOPLE HIGHLY ENCOURAGED TO WRITE IN!***

Spread the word and keep the questions coming in!

Where do you ask your question??? HERE:

jackandcokelady@hotmail.com

Cheers, bitches!

Deena Marie

December update!

*Click picture for a bigger image*

I have so much to tell you!

This month has been a whirlwind. I can't believe it's almost Christmas. It doesn't feel like it since I haven't had a spare second. I don't even have a christmas tree up!

"Go Dog Go" is up and running and going great! It's a 50 minute long show with no intermission and no downtime. Sounds simple, but it's a huge workout! Each time we perform it I have a blast. It's been one of the most fun shows I've done! I've worked at this theatre before, two plays and one reading. It's one of my favorites places to work. We are doing 9 shows a week through the 27th. Although I think there are even more shows the last week. I also get to work with my sweetheart on this one! It's not often we're able to do a play together (this is our third) so we feel very lucky when it happens.

You might wonder what it's like for a husband and wife to be together so much working on a big project and then performing together. It's GREAT! We are the kind of pair that never get on each others nerves and love being together most of all. I think he looks adorable in the show and I'm so proud of him. We are a perfect team. I have been reminded so much lately of how lucky I am to have found him! It's magical. It really is.

When I'm in a show it really takes all of my focus. I have little energy to give anything else. I eat, sleep and breathe it. Mondays are our free days and every monday we've had off I've been booked on a photo shoot! Same goes for the next two mondays. I've also had meetings, auditions and news appearances...including playing "Sarah Palin" yesterday on the KUTV 2 morning show! Same one you saw me playing "Little Miss Honey Bee" on last month for the "New Moon" opening. I love everyone there and I'm so honored they have asked me to come on the show. It's one of the coolest most fun things I've been able to do!

So many great things are coming up as well! Another runway show, a short film and a collaboration video with someone very well known... stay tuned!

I hate that I put my youtube videos on the back burner for a couple of months, but I'll be back in full force soon! Did you know it's my 2 year youtube anniversary on Monday, December 14th? Omg. My life has changed so much in the last 2 years!

My life changes so much day to day! Just a couple months ago we were talking very seriously about LA. Maybe I'd be getting a part time apartment there and pursuing my career in a new scene. Even as early as this January! So many of my actor friends as well as youtube friends are there now, or making the move and it would be a blast to be around all of them, but then things seem to get busier and busier here. Here, people who can hire me know who I am. It's really hard to throw that away, or even put it on hold. Would I really want to start from scratch? Plus the thought of being away from the one I love is pretty much unbearable. I feel this is where I am supposed to be right now! Working out of state would be great...but living?! Nope. Unless I get a huge break, a high paid gig and can move the both of us!

It's also funny the new things you start to want in life that you never thought you would. Life takes interesting twists and turns and can lead you to paths you'd never thought you'd take. It's pretty cool.

What else...

Oh! For those of you who didn't see my tweets and status updates... I saw a freaking meteor a few weeks ago! Do you know how many people get to see that in a lifetime?! And a few days later a space shuttle! If you know me, then you know that both were like witnessing miracles. I long to know more about the universe and metaphysics and unexplored territory. In my next life I want to be a scientist. For now, I just want to learn and read all I can. It's currently "Spook". I highly recommend it! I get a lump in my throat just thinking about how vast the universe is and how small we are and how science is where it's really at.

Final topic, last but not least, is favors. I have had so many friends and strangers ask me for shout outs/promotion. I hate that. I hate that so bad. When someone has promoted me, I have never, and I repeat, never asked them to do that. Sure, we all wish we could ask someone more successful or popular than us for a little help (and yes, there will always be someone more successful or popular) but it's a turn off! Especially if it's not a mutual exchange of help or if I don't know you well or at all. Just don't do it. It's bad manners! I almost never respond to it and chances are if that's all you want from me you'll never get it. ;) I'm into helping out a deserving person, but not because they asked for it. Those I have pimped out would never ever have asked.

Allright kids,

off to get some dinner and plan a Christmas youtube video that will happen this week!

Happy Holidays!

xo

Deena Marie